Always Here
by Wagyubeefy
Summary: Glinda and Elphaba are alive, in love, growing old together. Though it was hardly easy to manage. Bookverse canon divergence.
1. Always Here

**a/n: They're about 40 here, by the way. Enjoy!**

Glinda had a date with a friend. This was an important date, the kind of date that you spent the day anticipating; or the whole week; or the last two months. That date was tonight, and she had been stuck talking to the dreariest dignitaries in Oz all day. There were only so many petty complaints you could hear in a day before you started contemplating homicide, even when you were the Witch of Oz herself.

"We are concerned about the continued drought in Nest Hardings. We agreed we should source from Illwater."

"The lake by Wend Hardings?" She asked, barely masking her exhaustion. They nodded. Glinda glanced at Boq, her primary advisor on Munchkinland matters. "No, I won't allow it."

"These are dire times, your Grace-"

"You do not have the figures to support such a claim," Boq interrupted, "And even if you did, we would not sanction such a move. Did you forget that Nest Hardings has been at its most productive in a hundred years? Our province is recovering from drought."

"We may be recovering, but it is still drought! Your lack of compassion is disturbing." This was directed at Glinda. "Nest Hardings is the heart of Munchkinland, and Illswater would be a more stable supply of water."

Glinda narrowed her eyes minutely. "You are all well aware that Wend Hardings has one of the highest Animal populations in Munchkinland, and you are well aware that Illwater is its primary water source." She looked at Boq for confirmation, which she received. "You will be in violation of the Consideration for Animals act."

"We will limit the draw to allow Wend Hardings to-"

"Oh, please. You did the same thing last year, drawing from Bright Lettin's waterholes - again, a primary source for a large community of Animals - that have since disappeared," Boq said, now sounding angry. Glinda stood quickly.

"I'm sorry gentlemen, but if that is truly the last matter of the night, then we are finished here. Both Master Boq and I are exceptionally tired." The men were red faced with frustration. She passive aggressively showed them the door.

"Good work in there," Boq said tiredly. He studied Glinda for a moment. "It's been a long day. You're going to take a day of rest tomorrow?"

"I am."

Boq muttered as he passed her. "Give her my love."

"Of course." Glinda watched him as he went, then called "Attias!" Her girl peeked in. "That's the last of them, right?"

"It is, Your Wonderfulness."

"Oh, do stop all that." Attias would never stop. She had attended to the Wizard, and had gotten stuck on that. Attias was a good secretary, but her fear made Glinda spectacularly uncomfortable. The girl expected her to live up to a tyrant. "Remind the staff not to disturb my chambers today or tomorrow until the noon."

"Yes, Your-"

"And send a message to Levius about designing a dress for the Winter E.C. Ball; he has a month or so. I want it to make me seem aloof but very trustworthy." Attias scribbled dutifully as they began down one of many identical halls in the south wing of government house. It stood unceremoniously on a main street of the inner Emerald City. The palace had been stripped of its glamour and made into a school since the Wizard's leave from Wizardom. "And I need you to send your best bouquets to the houses of Shenshen, Milla and Pfannee, and have the note on them be very heartfelt. It's to be the anniversary of our graduation quite soon, you see."

"Happy anniversary, Your Loftiness."

"Yes, thank you." Glinda had reached her door. "Loftiness? Creative, but no." Attias stuttered an apology to her shoes as Glinda entered her rooms.

Once behind closed doors, she sighed heavily and immediately got to loosening her bodice. She was not the spring chicken she once had been, strutting up and down the upper echelons of the Emerald City in her heels and her corsets and her ridiculous, extravagant gowns. Her date was probably here, but they were still a room apart, so Glinda allowed herself a fart and a pick and checked her face in the mirror. She tucked aside a hair or two. Flawless.

She entered her bedroom and found Elphaba lying on her side over her bed, completely naked, except for a hat she had taken from Glinda's collection. It was a wide brimmed peach thing, with a linen belt and the - fake - tail feathers of a summer quail wafting from it. She lifted it from her head in greeting. "Your Loftiness."

"You're so theatrical," Glinda said fondly. She went to Elphaba and took the hat from her head, and bent to kiss her. "Hello darling. Drink?"

"Already had one."

Glinda poured herself a glass of shiraz. "Good for you. I've had the most boring night." Elphaba's hands touched her waist, glided down and around to hold her hips. As Glinda struck the match to light a centred candal sat on the dresser beside the drinks cabinet, Elphaba pressed her hips to Glinda's. She felt the bulge even through the layers of her dress. "Oh my. Excited, aren't you?"

Elphaba laughed lowly, her breath ghosting over Glinda's neck. "Very excited."

She picked up her wine and turned in Elphaba's hands, looking a little up at her. Elphaba's eyes were very dark. She had eyes that lit dimly, as if they absorbed light rather than reflected it.

She hadn't changed much. She was still tall and made of lean, hard stuff. There was a new scar just an inch from the base of her throat. She had lost weight perhaps – her breasts were smaller than ever, her ribs bare, her stomach too flat and her waist too narrow for her age. Her coarse black hair grew wild and trailed from navel to groin, where strapped around her hips and thighs in supple leather and brass rings was a very strange and impressive dildo.

It wasn't one of Glinda's, which were all shaped and hardened leather. This was glass, she thought, and while it certainly looked like a cock in general shape, it had rather more ripples and texture than she'd seen before. "Where'd you get this?" Glinda took it in her hand and pumped casually, smirking to see Elphaba's knees tremble. "Are you quite desperate?"

Elphaba braced herself on the table at Glinda's back, leaning closer to her. "I picked it up in Quadling country." Elphaba had this great ability to look impassive even when you were working her over. "It cost a fortune, so I hope you enjoy it." She smiled candidly, and gave her a soft kiss.

The smile seemed break the tension between them, the small resentments and the distance. Glinda felt all of her old affection rush up in her at once. She wrapped her arms around Elphaba's waist and kissed her as if making up for lost time. "I'm sorry I've been so long, Glinda," Elphaba said a little distractedly, "Only there's been so much to do. You've no idea the terror still going on beneath your nose. It is small groups, isolated groups, but the things they do! There was a Horse, an honest labour-mare strung up by her neck-"

"Elphie, please, not now," Glinda said. Elphaba looked at her sharply and opened her mouth to speak but Glinda quickly said, "I believe we were in the middle of something, and I don't want it to ruin the mood. I do read your letters, you know. But later you may tell me all in more detail, I promise."

That seemed to satisfy her, barely.

During their months apart they contacted each other through complicated, illegal channels. Neither of them ever dared to reread what they had written. They wrote them at night in their beds, when all their feeling were at their strongest. Elphaba's letters followed a format hilariously true to her personality; three pages of details about her work, two pages of fantasies, one page of all her longing and devotion and pain, written so honestly it made Glinda's chest ache.

Elphaba had kissed her way to the collar of her dress "Dear Oz, why must all your clothes be so complex?"

"Think of it like unwrapping a present, darling."

Elphaba began wrestling with her laces, but soon became frustrated with it and made Glinda turn around so she could do it properly. Glinda became aware of her little chalice almost spilling in her hand and put it down, and started unclipping her stockings.

Elphaba drew off her dress and bodice and petticoat, everything down to her bare self. She felt Elphaba's hands tracing the reddish imprints scoring her back. Elphaba kissed some spot on her shoulder blade and then the back of her neck, almost at her hairline. Glinda leaned back against her and sighed. "I did miss you."

"I missed you too," Elphaba said quietly. They just stood there for a long while, enjoying the reality of each other and their presence. Simple contact felt miraculous. Glinda supposed they ought to be ravaging each other desperately, but sex was so little of what she missed. It was okay - even essential - to let it unfold as it would any other day. Glinda turned in her arms and smiled at her.

"One of these days, we won't have to be apart so long. Just a little more work, darling."

"Yes," Elphaba said. The mention of work momentarily distracted her; she was back with the Animals, with the Quadlings, with all the people she knew deserved more. Glinda brushed her hair from her temple, held her cheek. Elphaba came back to her. "Yes, quite right," Elphaba said again.

"Or, we will work until we are both in our eighties and finally have to throw in the towel. Then we can spend the rest of our lives having all the rousting sex we want."

Elphaba grinned. "Eighty? So young? I'm getting to at least an even hundred."

They snickered and kissed smiling. "Good luck with that, Miss Dangerous Activist," Glinda muttered against her lips. Elphaba hummed and deepened the kiss. Her hands moved from holding Glinda's waist to her hips and then to her thighs. In a very attractive burst of strength she hoisted Glinda into her arms and sat her on the table.

Glinda remembered how much she liked kissing. With Elphaba it felt decadent, it felt intense, like very dark chocolate or smooth, hard liquor. Elphaba would probably hate hearing that, but Glinda couldn't help her society girl roots. For her the pleasures of Elphaba's company were best compared to the luxuries she had given up so many years ago. If they must be compared at all. They were in fact incomparable, like all of Elphaba.

Elphaba kissed down her neck, biting her carefully - always carefully, with teeth like hers. She stopped and cupped Glinda's breasts, and pressed her cheek to them, sighing happily. "I feel like I'm home."

"Welcome home," Glinda said, only half joking. Glinda was as close to a home Elphaba had now. Elphaba rubbed her nipples very briefly and quickly fell to her knee, her hands sliding up Glinda's thighs. They both liked the sight, admired the contrast of their skin.

Glinda had gotten even whiter with age, possibly from lack of sunlight, probably from bad circulation. Elphaba's skin had baked in the ruthless heat of the Vinkus and the thick humid climate of the swamps. Beneath her eyes and over her joints her skin was almost black. She thought it suited Elphie.

Elphaba dragged her mouth slowly up Glinda's inner thigh. Glinda brought her hand to Elphaba's head, raked her fingers through her hair. That is something she had missed incredibly. There were few things better than the cool, fine sensation of running her hands through Elphie's hair. Elphaba glanced up at her as she did it and smiled knowingly. Then she hitched Glinda's legs over her shoulders, holding the shallow where her thighs met her hips.

Elphaba loved being between her legs. Glinda liked being between a woman's legs too - very much so - but Elphaba was on another level. Glinda wondered if she tasted particularly good or something. "Elphie, does my quim taste very good?"

Elphaba had been just about to dive in. She considered the question, rubbing her thumb over Glinda's labia distractedly. "It tastes alright. You don't taste it an awful lot after a while down there."

"Well, what do you like about it so much?"

"I just like how it feels."

"For you?"

"Yes." She looked embarrassed, then went on, "It feels like… service." She paused. "A kind of worship."

Glinda grinned. "Oh, I like that."

"Plus, we are built so different and yet so similar, it's rather fascinating to me." She was referring, of course, to the peculiarity of her plumbing. "I'm going to carry on now," Elphaba said.

Elphaba was too eager to be teasing. She moved her tongue in the measured and firm way of a person who knew just what they were doing. She didn't draw back or go still. She knew Glinda's body before it knew itself. Within a the minute Glinda had quickly ended up with a fist in Elphaba's hair and a hand over her own mouth, struggling to preserve her dignity.

Then she got to the point where dignity didn't matter, dignity was severely overrated. This was so much better. The shameless rolling and arching of her body, the butchering of Elphaba's name in a moan. Elphaba kept at it until she had stopped shaking. She gave one last broad lick and kissed Glinda's navel, and then got back on her feet.

Her face was drenched. She wiped her mouth and chin distractedly. "My jaw hurts," She said with no genuine irritation. She was shaking, and her eyes were black and moved over Glinda like a pair of hands. She exhaled through her nose. "Do you need a rest?"

"Yes," Glinda breathed. She sat up on the table. Elphaba had her arms crossed, fidgeting and gnawing her lip distractedly. Glinda observed her through lidded eyes. "Do you remember our first time?" Glinda said.

Elphaba looked at her mildly. "How can I forget? It was my first time ever."

Glinda looked affronted. "It was mine too! I was a proper little lady."

"A proper little lady, seducing green girls whose parts were all odd."

"Only one," Glinda said. Elphaba's smirk melted into a soft smile. "But god, were we awkward. We didn't even take our clothes off."

"That's right," Elphaba mused. "If I remember correctly, it was at some ridiculous hour of the night. We had woken up because of some boys having a lark outside."

"And I felt your hand on my bum," Glinda said, grinning. Elphaba scowled and blushed.

"Yes. And then we kissed badly, I made some poor attempts to touch your breasts, and we rubbed one out on each other."

Glinda laughed. "It was nicer than that." Glinda still remembered the way the blue light from the window hit Elphaba's cheek and cast her skin aqua, and how they had pulled the covers over them as they kissed and been enveloped by all the warmth of sleep and all the closeness of the dark. She remembered the gentleness of all of it. She remembered Elphaba trembling like a leaf in her arms, and wanting more than anything to make her feel loved.

Glinda looked at Elphaba. She had grown a great deal, but was still so much the same person. Glinda held her cheek and the back of her neck and kissed her. She got lost in the feeling of Elphaba's tongue sliding against her own, the taste of herself on another person's lips.

"Alright," Glinda said. "Shall we try that thing out?"

Elphaba looked excited at the prospect. She breathed into her hands and rubbed them over the glass. "You'll want this warm." Elphaba paused. "I wonder if the cold would be arousing - you know, because it's so strange."

"I don't know, try it." Elphaba pressed it forward, and Glinda just about jumped off the cabinet. She pulled back hastily. "I'll warm it." Once she was satisfied she lifted Glinda's legs so they rested in the crook of her arms. She really was shaking - Glinda hadn't realised how pent up she was. She had always had an amazing amount of self control.

Elphaba maintained their kiss as she pressed her hips to Glinda's, dragging the length of her new toy through Glinda's lips. That always drove Glinda mad. She brought a hand to Elphaba's thigh to grind their hips together all the better. Elphaba's mouth moved down her neck, and she raked the strange points of her teeth over her throat and her collar bone. Glinda leaned back and arched, and Elphaba got the hint. She took a nipple between her fingers, and the other in her mouth. Glinda closed her eyes and laughed breathily to herself. Her breath caught at a particularly firm suck. "Bloody hell."

"Glinda, my sweet, I think you're making quite the mess." Glinda sat up and frowned at her. "You're dripping all over your nice liquor cabinet."

Glinda looked, and she was. "Only because you dally around so much," Glinda huffed. She was a little embarrassed at how it came out. It got the message across. She caught her in another kiss, and it wasn't messy or desperate. It was a hot kind of kiss that made her head spin. Elphaba looked just as dazed when she pulled back. She pulled herself together and got into position.

She started gingerly, as always. Elphaba had chosen a fairly big dildo - that really suited Glinda's taste – and wanted to start slow and shallow, to let Glinda adjust, lest she hurt her. Glinda was already wet and well adjusted, and said, "Elphie, just –" She held the side of the table and pressed her hips down to meet Elphaba's hips, groaning. Elphaba held her fast and looked shocked.

"How in Oz are you managing that?" Elphaba asked a little breathlessly.

"I do have my own toys, you know. You don't think I use them when I am occupying myself?"

Elphaba seemed to enjoy the image. "Clearly, you occupy yourself often."

"Very often."

Elphaba grinned and made the first pull and push, and Glinda closed her eyes and kind of hissed. Elphaba stopped again. "Is it alright?"

"It's very hard," Glinda managed.

"No good?"

"It's fine." She had no idea what those ridges she had seen would feel like. Elphaba drew out of her again, and they caught on her in the best way. "Dear god, that was a good choice."

"Glad you like it." Elphaba started very steady, but her pace picked up quickly. Neither of them liked their sex slow and careful. Elphaba moved fluidly, but after months apart there was an edge of desperation. The movement of their hips against the table was making a consistent banging on the wall, and sent the bottle of shiraz onto the ground – she didn't think if it shattered or not – and Elphie's case of cigarettes, and the chalice.

It felt good of course, and Elphaba looked like she was having the time of her life, but it wasn't enough to push Glinda over. She needed more control. She leaned up and pressed a hand to Elphaba's cheek. She was sticky with sweat. "Darling." Elphaba came to a stop, blinking like she'd been woken up. Her breathing was ragged to hell. "Let's go to the bed."

Elphaba frowned and panted, semi-disoriented. "Why?"

"So I can ride you," She said. Elphaba went tripping over herself to comply. She scooted back so she was against the headboard and pulled Glinda against her, closing her open mouth over whatever was there - the underside of her breast, the rise of her ribcage. Glinda straddled her and reached back to grab the slippery thing, moving it so it rubbed against Elphaba - she hummed against Glinda's stomach - and then holding it in place, lowering herself eagerly.

She exhaled and braced Elphaba's shoulders. She did not wait to get started again, and set a good pace, fast enough to thrill but not to sacrifice the depth, the delicious grind of their hips. Elphaba had a hand on her hip and the other on her sternum, keeping her upright. Elphaba really did know her too well. The angle and her straight back made the drag of those ridges all the firmer and more unrelenting. It was overwhelming.

Elphaba was near, like Glinda was. She shifted her legs and sat up, her hands gripping Glinda's waist and encouraging her to keep up the rhythm, her hips rolling up beneath Glinda's. Glinda held her face, and it was terribly intimate, exactly what they needed after so many months of desperate worry and longing. She kissed her and Elphaba's arms wrapped around her waist, rolled her on her back.

She framed her arms around Glinda's head and surged against her with her whole body, and the friction of it pushed Elphaba over the brink. She arched against Glinda, moaning raggedly into her neck. Still caught in the throes of climax, she pushed into Glinda again. " _Fuck_ ," she breathed, and that pushed Glinda over - the absolute scandal of it, and the rawness of her voice, the firm press of her hips. Glinda fisted the bed sheets and whimpered Elphaba's name in a way that she would later deny vehemently. For now she didn't care. She didn't think anything. She felt Elphaba's breath and sticky skin, and bone deep relief.

Once they had recovered, Elphaba withdrew from her very slowly, Glinda groaning at the feeling. She would be sore. Elphaba clumsily unbuckled herself and then collapsed beside her, nuzzling herself into her side. Glinda brought a lazy hand to her hair. "I think I died," Glinda admitted. Elphaba chuckled tiredly against her.

"That can't be all we've got in us."

"Oh, it was rather a lot, Elphie." Even as she said that, Glinda slipped her hand between Elphaba's legs, running her fingers through her lips, around her pearl. She trembled fiercely. Glinda smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you're back, darling."


	2. Back When

**a/n: So, this is the first time that is briefly discussed in Always Here. I felt compelled to write it idk why, but ENJOY**

Elphaba woke to the smell of autumn flowers and the distant laughter of young men. She sat up very slightly and squinted blearily around the room. Glinda lay facing her, her hands folded up beneath her chin. She was fast asleep. The laughter was coming from their ajar window.

She got up and peered out over the courtyard. Four boys were running around a fountain and pulling each other to the ground. One was naked. Two others were topless. She got to witness one of them get dacked before he fell flat on his face, his friends howling in laughter around him. She closed the window. She was eighteen, and she didn't understand boys at all.

As she slipped back into bed Glinda made a soft noise, and her hand bumped Elphaba's ribs. Elphaba draped her arm over Glinda, ran her hand down her back absently. Glinda took a short breath and peered about sleepily. "Elphie?" Her voice was rough and quiet. She half twisted, her eyes jumping over the ceiling. She looked down her body. "Your hand is on my bottom."

Elphaba quickly snatched it back. She was suddenly very awake. "I-I hadn't noticed-"

"It's alright," Glinda murmured, her own hand rubbing at Elphaba's waist. Her eyes were closed, already falling back asleep. "You may touch whatever you wish."

"How generous."

She made some noise in response, and stretched, arching against Elphaba. "What's the time?" She sighed against Elphaba's collarbone.

"Some ridiculous hour of the morning," Elphaba muttered. Glinda hummed. She nuzzled her nose against Elphaba's neck.

"You smell nice."

"New oils."

"I like them." The moonlight from the window beyond Elphaba's back illuminated Glinda dimly. Her hair was silvery, her skin marble. She blinked slowly. "Give me a kiss, Elphie."

"I have classes in the morning." Elphaba was already leaning over her, pressing her lips half blindly to the soft curve of her cheek. Glinda held her jaw and turned her mouth to hers. The sleepiness or the darkness made them gentle. Glinda bit her lip lazily, slid her tongue behind her teeth, unhurried.

She nudged Elphaba onto her back and took a hold of the blanket slipping past her shoulders. She draped herself over Elphaba, and then pulled the covers up past their heads. Elphaba blinked in the pitch blackness. She felt the wet warmth of Glinda's mouth open over her throat and shivered. Elphaba patted around, found her hands to Glinda's hips. "Glinda."

"Mm?" Her breath broke over Elphaba's chin. Elphaba leaned up and caught her in another kiss. She slid her hands up Glinda's back and pulled her closer, so their thighs were folded and their chests were pressed together very firmly. Night dresses were nothing. She could feel Glinda's stiff nipples, she could feel the shifting muscles of her shoulder blades. She readjusted her hips over Elphaba's thigh, and Elphaba's breath hitched. "Are you quite well?" Glinda murmured against her jaw.

Elphaba laughed a little. She felt Glinda's nose rub against her own. "Am I quite well? I don't know," She said honestly. Their bodies and their breath made the air under the blanket very warm.

"Should I…?" Glinda began to lift herself. Elphaba wrapped her arms around Glinda's waist, and kissed whatever skin she was pressed against. Glinda laughed gently. "You're comfortable?"

"I am." A hand came to her cheek and guided her into a slow kiss. Elphaba usually became insecure and would overthink kissing if it were too slow, but she had just woken up, and insecurity didn't occur to her.

Glinda's hand slid into her hair, her nails scraping her scalp pleasantly. Her fingers brushed Elphaba's neck and she shuddered hard, her thigh pressing up against Galinda. Glinda's lips dragged over her cheek. "God," She breathed. She propped herself up on her elbow and rolled her hips against Elphaba's, and the angle was better. It was so _good_ , it thrummed through Elphaba like live energy.

Glinda leaned up a little, and a sliver of light illuminated her face. She was frowning, Elphaba thought. Elphaba rubbed at her back. "Glinda?"

Glinda hesitated. She licked her lips quickly. "Does this feel… good for you?"

Elphaba chucked awkwardly. "If you must know, yes."

Glinda was still moving against her, though more distractedly. "Isn't it curious?" She said, but she sounded excited, maybe relieved to speak of it. "I've felt it before, but nobody tells you about it..."

Elphaba swallowed. "When have you felt it?"

"When we kiss, of course," She said matter of factly. "And sometimes I… have dreams." She was tracing the peaked hairline of Elphaba's forehead softly. "I wake up in such a state I can't lay still."

"A state."

"Yes, a state."

"What do you dream of?"

Glinda looked at her through her lashes. She smiled, and there was something naughty and thrilling about it. "That's a secret."

"Bollocks," Elphaba said, burying her head where she thought Glinda's neck was. She was about right - her nose bumped Glinda's ear, and she kissed and nipped just by the angle of her jaw. Glinda giggled and squirmed away from her. "Why can't I know?"

"It's embarrassing." Glinda pushed herself onto her hands, the blanket falling around her waist. There was something great about Glinda hovering over her like that. Maybe the way it pressed their hips and legs all the closer, or how her hair fell. Her hair, Elphaba realised, is what smelt like autumn flowers. Glinda was peering at her with a little smile. "What is it? You're making a face."

Elphaba sighed. "You're exceedingly beautiful, Miss Glinda, I don't know what to do with myself." Glinda rolled her eyes and grinned brilliantly.

"You're rather bad at masking your compliments in the morning. Could I have found a weakness of yours?"

"I know my lightning fast wit is infamous, here and elsewhere in Oz," Elphaba began, and Glinda was already laughing into her neck. "But I'm rather more keen on kissing right now, so it'll have to wait till eight o'clock."

"Good," Glinda said. She caught Elphaba in a deep kiss. They were more awake now, so when Glinda moved against her Elphaba had the clarity and the strength to move with her, to cling to her thigh and encourage the delicious roll and grind of their hips. Both of them dissolved into breathlessness, and couldn't keep up the kiss.

Glinda exhaled, and pushed up to her hands again, fisting the sheets by Elphaba's shoulders. Elphaba gripped her waist and looked up at Glinda's half illuminated face. She looked open, completely unaware of herself. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted and red from kissing. She moved particularly hard against Elphaba and gasped aloud. "Oh." Glinda shuddered. "Oh god, Elphie," She breathed, and opened her eyes, looked at her. " _Elphaba_."

Elphaba's reaction was visceral. She felt her own pleasure rise sharply with Glinda's wavering voice. She clung to Glinda's hips, to give some aid to their movement, and it made Glinda all the more vigorous. She suddenly caught Elphaba in a short kiss, and then nuzzled her face into Elphaba's shoulder, released a muffled and beautiful whimper. She pressed her whole self against Elphaba's, and Elphaba arched up into her, overcome with sensation.

When she came back to herself, Glinda was draped over her and still panting. She wrapped the girl in her arms, rolled her gently onto her side. Glinda's lips brushed her neck. "Elphie," She sighed quietly. She brought a hand to Elphaba's cheek. "My love." She kissed her.

Elphaba hid her face in her nightdress. "My sweet."


	3. Skeleton Key

**a/n: It seems this has become a series. I have more in the making. I can't help trying to give them better :'/**

"Lady Chuffrey, your breakfast."

Glinda lifted her head from her crossed arms to stare at the door, as if that were enough to banish the servant beyond it. She saw the light beneath the door shift, and heard the maid tread off. She rested her cheek on her own greasy hair. She stared out the window, watching the sky turning navy to cool blue. The mornings were very dark in winter. All the lights and the shadows played tricks in such a season, everything was less clear.

She had seen Elphaba four days ago.

She was sure of it. She was not, in fact; how could she be. She only thought it may be so, hoped desperately it was so. That night Chuffrey had tried to touch her, and she couldn't bear it. She could not bear anything since that glimpse.

Glinda sat with her knees to her chest and her arms coiled tight about her, and inside she raged. Her emotions were balanced on a pin's point. They swayed, and they would tip over eventually, she could feel it. She would fall to a depression or she would rise to an anger so passionate she wouldn't know what to do with it.

Depression was the wiser choice. Let herself spiral. She could absorb the feelings and keep them in a small place, and eventually they would die with her. She should mourn Elphaba now and get it out of the way, then maybe she could fucking do something with her life.

Anger was dangerously proactive. It demanded satisfaction, resolution. All of the things she was sure she would never have. Anger squirmed; it moved on the precipice in a way that depression did not. Depression was an absence of movement. It was all the heavier, sure to drag her deep underwater where all of these hard things could suffocate.

What tipped the balance was Crope.

"Glinda, please come out darling. Your dear friends miss you. Me included." She did not respond to him. "I need new socks. You know I can't shop to save my life." Glinda, out of some thin and genuine affection for her friend, opened the door. Crope fluttered in, Glinda closing the door behind him, and took a proper look at her. "My god, your hair! When did you last wash? And your room, where have the maids been? Oh, Glinda, whatever are you _doing_?"

Socks. Hair. Room. _Glinda. Friends._ Everything reminded her of Elphaba. Elphaba, Elphaba, Elphaba! The whole world was her. Glinda pressed her hands to her head and screwed her eyes shut, her chest aching. When she opened her eyes, she felt how wild she must have looked. "I'm losing my goddamn mind," Glinda said shakily, pacing past him to nothing in particular. Crope watched warily. "I saw her," Glinda said. "I swear, I saw her."

"Where?" Any superficial effect of Crope's was gone.

"Lonsdale street. Off of it, down some little alley - it was nowhere, nothing - how must she be living -"

"Lonsdale," Crope said. He came to her, took her hands. "I'll do what I can," he promised fiercely.

"Don't," Glinda lamented, pulling her hands from his. "Let it die."

"I would have to hate you to not chase this," Crope said. "I love you too much for it. Now wash yourself up, and let the bloody maids in here."

She did as he said. With his passion, his seriousness, the scales had tipped, and she was not on a pin point anymore. She had not sunk. She rose with fire at her heels. She would find Elphaba, and she would do something to her, punch her maybe. Shoot her in the damn heart.

Glinda was alight in this manner for a good week, but by the end of the month it had almost petered off, and she was becoming bad again. Chuffrey had taken to avoiding her; she could hide her emotions well, but in their home she did not have the energy. She was angry or sad or empty, nothing.

Crope invited her to tea that week, not an unusual request by any stretch. They would often go to some fashionable cafe with the right level of privacy and complain about all the _normal_ people around them.

Crope and Glinda both had their own contacts, their own special friends. For Glinda they were a society of rich ladies that preferred their own kind, and indulged in all manner of scholarly and not-so-scholarly exploration of the subject. For Crope the community was rather faster and certainly looser. He went to the bath houses, the docks, the poetry nights in Brick Crescent. He did not have the standing to join the secret pfaith cults - gents only - and so sank in with the avantgarde, the artists, who were as indiscriminate and adventurous as one could be.

They went to these places mostly for reassurance, for their own sanity. Neither of them had sex often. Sex was hard with loves still so freshly lost.

When she met him and they were seated she noticed very quickly he had news. They ordered their tea and scones with jam and saffron cream. Before any of it had come Crope took her hands and looked into her eyes like he was afraid she would faint.

"We found a lead."

Glinda just about threw the table to the ground. She managed to keep calm, her hands gripping his. "What have you found?"

"There is a chapel." Glinda was skeptical, and becoming angry, given hope over such an obviously mistaken lead. "The cloister of St. Glinda," Crope continued. "It's in Seddon - it's a second from Lonsdale."

Glinda blinked hard. "She wouldn't, would she?"

"She would, you know she would," Crope said, leaning over the table. "She was in love to her ears, of course she would."

"In love." Glinda sighed, or huffed, or sobbed. "I think she must have hated me, to leave me like this."

"Hate you? Never," he pleaded. "Glinda, for god's sake…" He glanced around the cafe pointlessly. Nobody paid attention here.

"Fine," she breathed, "fine."

They chased the lead. Hired rogues staked out alleyways, made inquiries. She gave these rogues all the relevant knowledge she could of Elphaba's habits and interests. Glinda would do it all herself were she in the position to do so. When she had time, she took small carriages down these tangled alleys, and watched the grey poor people through black-lace window shades. She did not have the courage or the knowledge to go on foot. She wished she did. She wished she would be the one to find Elphaba.

She had fantasies of that moment often. It would play out differently each time. She saw Elphaba in the street and caught her arm, and they went to a cafe, and Elphaba cried for the first time in her life. She saw her in the street and pulled her to some dark place and kissed her right there against the wall. She saw her through those lace windows, and opened the carriage door in her path. They had sex in the pure darkness. Glinda would reveal her identity only moments before she left her, just to hurt her, though it was only a fraction of what she was due.

On warmer nights she imagined finding whatever dirty little place Elphaba was living and there on the bed would be Elphaba, her hands between her thighs; or Elphaba coming to her; Elphaba on her balcony, sweaty from scaling the house, green skin gleaming, hair longer, eyes blacker than Glinda remembered. She did not like to think about how Elphaba may have changed physically. It excited her too much, it panicked her. The world would end the day Elphaba was unfamiliar to her.

It had barely been three years and already that sad process had begun. How did Elphaba's hands feel? She couldn't remember. She knew her hands were big but elegant, held her hips well, calloused only slightly from her occasional delinquent behaviour. She could not quite imagine them holding her.

In a way, Glinda was granted her fantasy. When the rogues got results they did not take or trap or contact Elphaba - they did not even see her. They only heard - from many sources - where she was living, and gave this information to Glinda, their job concluded.

Glinda held the information for some days. She could not quite believe it existed. Crope offered his support for the confrontation, or at least for the trip there. Glinda turned him down. If she could not go alone she should not go at all.

But she did go, of course. How could she not? She got the black carriage and sat some distance from Elphaba's apartment building. She watched with a pair of binoculars she had for the opera. Every time someone came or left her heart half burst out of her chest.

It was in the small hours of the morning when she saw her. She did not see her skin or her hair, but something about the figure, their movement and scale, their impatience, was surely Elphaba.

Glinda's sat back, staring at nothing. Her thoughts had been churning all day, and now she found them clotted and turned sour. But even as she thought terrible things - untrue things, irrational things - her heart beat hard, and she had this old feeling bubbling up inside her. She was going to see _Elphie_.

Glinda gathered herself together and stepped down from the carriage. She considered telling the driver to wait in case things didn't go well. She banished the thought and let the driver go for the night.

She went to the door and knocked. The landlord had obviously gotten out of bed to answer and stayed tight lipped until she paid up - it was nothing to her, but his eyes were wide with disbelief at her first offer. Elphaba's room was on the top floor.

Glinda knocked on the door. There was some shuffling, then a stretch of expectant silence. "Yes?" she called peevishly. Glinda closed her eyes. She heard footsteps coming toward her. "I know you're out there, you're casting a shadow under the door." The handle shifted but didn't turn - Elphaba was holding it still.

Glinda pressed her hand flat against the wood. She had no idea what to say. 'It's Glinda. I hope I'm not bothering you, I would have let you know I was coming if I could, but you're dreadfully hard to get hold of.' Instead, she beat her fist against the door very suddenly and very hard. She hadn't thought beyond that - her mind raced. "Open the door," she yelled, her voice gruff and obviously put on. Her face flushed. What the hell was she doing?

Elphaba sounded just as baffled as her. "Who in Oz…? Are you some prepubescent thug?" Glinda could hear amusement in Elphaba's voice. "Come try me when your voice is done breaking, boy."

Glinda scowled. "Oh, shut up and open the door Elphie!"

There was some kind of _clunk_ or _thud_ , and then a deep and awkward silence. The door opened. They looked at each other in absolute shock. Elphaba sucked in a breath. "You-" She blinked, and closed the door. There were the sounds of frantic movements. Glinda gaped in disbelief.

"You fuck!" Glinda was unaware she had the ability to produce such extreme profanity. She grabbed the door handle and unhinged whatever pathetic lock was on Elphaba's door; she burst into the room. Elphaba span around, eyes wide with _fear,_ Glinda realised.

Glinda charged over to her. She stopped short, unable to touch her yet. Her whole body was shaking. Elphaba stepped back, her hands in the air. Her mouth was open, but she didn't speak. She was lost for words.

Glinda was not. With Elphaba in front of her, it came all too easily. She yelled, unaware of herself. "Where _were_ you!? And what were you thinking!? Did you think that was clever? It wasn't! I could _kill_ you!" Glinda pressed her hands to her brow, her eyes wide. "I _could_ kill you, because you're alive." Her relief showed briefly, and then she was all red faced and glaring again. "But you didn't tell me! I didn't know, for three years! Do you know how awful that feels!?" She was crying, and she didn't want to cry, because Elphaba never took that sort of thing seriously. She didn't fall to sobbing - her rage kept her together enough for that.

"Glinda, my dear, the neighbours…" Elphaba said strangely. Glinda laughed harshly.

"Shut up, Elphaba."

Elphaba shut up.

She went on. She repeated herself a few times, more than a few times, and cursed frequently. Elphaba was frozen all through it, waiting for the fatal blow. Glinda had began pacing by the seventh "What were you _thinking_!?" She rounded on Elphaba. "What was your goal, exactly? To _help_ me? To _protect_ me?" She paused, and Elphaba seemed unsure whether to answer or not. "Well it didn't work!" Glinda snapped, and Elphaba blinked and wilted somewhat. Glinda felt bad for hurting her, and happy to see it, and she felt overwhelmingly sad still - she turned away from Elphaba. "God, I don't even - I can barely look at you." Elphaba drew in a breath.

She couldn't keep up the tirade. She peered at Elphaba's sock-clad foot. Elphaba, sat on the floor beside her lumpy straw mattress, in _pants_ Glinda now noticed - Elphaba was wearing pants! Glinda burned. All of the spitting and yelling had not been exhausted, but overwhelmed. Glinda's arms and legs and chest ached with how lackluster it all was. She needed to make Elphaba feel this more viscerally.

Glinda advanced on her abruptly. Elphaba scrabbled to her knees, fearful of her intent. Glinda was a bit fearful herself - she wasn't sure what she was going to do, until she had Elphaba's face in her hands, and she was kissing her much harder than they'd ever kissed.

Elphaba made a surprised noise and fell back, her long legs springing up from beneath her as Glinda climbed onto her lap. Their incongruence got in the way of their kissing. Glinda was too rough, too reckless, and Elphaba was too unsure. Their teeth clashed; Elphaba's lip was caught and split, blood dribbling down her chin. Glinda frowned at it, annoyed. She kissed the cut gently, licked it up. There was still a coppery red stain when she was done. Glinda carried on down her neck, sucking and biting. Elphaba flinched and exhaled, her voice rougher than ever. Her hands came to Glinda's hips, moving over her waist, up her back. Glinda shuddered at the feel of them.

They moved together to the bed, Elphaba on her back, Glinda straddling her waist. Elphaba wore a men's shirt not quite buttoned all the way, the line of her clavicle and chest trailing teasingly beneath its hem. Her liberating outfit irritated Glinda immensely. Glinda reached for it and attempted the buttons, and then ripped at it when she got impatient. Her gloved hands ran over Elphaba's chest and ribs and stomach. She moved back and observed the 'v' of Elphaba's hips dipping beneath the hem of her pants, was maddeningly aroused by the scandal and look of it.

Glinda looked at Elphaba's face. Elphaba stared back. Her eyes were black, squinted unsurely, betraying a guarded desire. Glinda came forward to kiss her a bit, and it was less disastrous. Glinda took Elphaba's hand and reached beneath her own dress, brought those lovely fingers were they were most needed. Elphaba sighed when she felt it, and looked at Glinda so fondly it hurt Glinda. Not in a nice way. She didn't want that, couldn't take it yet. She screwed her eyes shut, braced herself on Elphaba's chest and rode her hand. Elphaba held her hips and groaned, moving beneath Glinda with the little mobility she could manage.

Glinda did not pay attention to any of this. She found herself, bizarrely, trying not to acknowledge Elphaba. But it was impossible. Even as fingers brushed that place inside her that made her shake and curl, she was dazedly aware of how the whole room smelt like Elphaba and oil and the tea she liked. Elphaba held her exactly the way _Elphie_ held her, and the sounds Elphaba made were so painfully familiar. Low and rough and unexpectedly melodic, just like three years ago, just like in Glinda's hundreds of dreams and fantasies.

What Glinda would give to not feel as she did. She wanted Elphaba to be making those sounds against her ear, against her throat. She wanted to feel Elphaba's hair in her hands, she wanted to be naked and damp against her, both rutting indiscriminately and loving it.

She realised that she did not feel comfortable with that anymore.

She came distractedly. She fit her thigh between Elphaba's and moved against her until Elphaba had shuddered and purred and gone still. They lay beside each other, panting and flushed. They couldn't speak.

They must have drifted off. Glinda woke to a black, eerie room. Glinda leaned up, peering at Elphaba. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a fantasy. She had woken up, and when she reached out to brush her fingers against Elphaba's arm, she found it solid and warm, covered in fine black hairs, more tanned than Glinda had remembered, and _real_.

Glinda turned to face away from Elphaba. She pressed her hands to her mouth and shook. She attempted to collect herself futilely. Her mind thought treacherously of Elphaba loving her at Shiz, Elphaba leaving her, Elphaba's absence, Elphaba seeing her and _trying to escape_. The absolute cruelty of it. The lack of concern, of love. Glinda gasped, sputtered, finally sobbed hard, pressing her face into her arms, trying desperately to stop everything coming out. She hoped Elphaba was asleep, at least.

It was naive of her. Elphaba was not a sleeper. Elphaba was an overthinker. She stared at the wall as Glinda's back shuddered against hers. Elphaba didn't know she was capable of emotion at this level; she got angry and a bit sad and sometimes very fond, but this was an extreme depth of guilt. And hate. Elphaba, for sure, had felt that before. She had hated herself for a long time. Forever, maybe. Not like this.

Elphaba moved as little as possible, covering her ears as best she could. She still heard it. Her chest was physically aching, something she'd thought was only a cliche in books she did not read, and it spread through her rib cage and guts and head until she thought her body might actually be shutting down. Her cells had seen the whole fiasco and had decided to end it. How could she deserve to exist, when she'd made Glinda Arduenna cry like _that_?

Glinda stopped eventually, her breathing becoming slow and deep. Elphaba lifted herself on her elbow and peered down at her. Her classic statuesque portrait, her reddened nose, her swollen eyes, her blotchy red cheeks. Elphaba wanted to kiss her desperately. She answered the call of nature instead, squatting over a little pot in the corner of the room, peering at Glinda's sleeping form self consciously.

Elphaba's lip was awfully painful. She cleaned it up with her oils and held a sort-of-clean rag to it. She stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. She couldn't leave. Though she had considered it, and felt very ashamed of herself. The worst thing she could do to Glinda was disappear again.

It was only the scared part of her that wanted to leave, of course. The warmer part of her, the part of her she always put aside, wanted to hold Glinda and apologize in any way Glinda saw fit. She would endure punishments if she must, she did not know to what extent she had hurt Glinda. She hoped - even prayed - she had not hurt her to the point of giving up.

But Glinda _had_ come to find her. She had searched after three years. Elphaba's mind had ways to distort these things, convince herself they were from anything but love or affection. Perhaps she should just let Glinda speak. Whenever she woke up.

Elphaba cleaned up. She threw out the pot's contents, folded and stacked clothes, blankets. She moved her boxes and lone chair into a less abstract arrangement. She brought a pan of milk to a boil to make tea and oats, laced them with honey. Glinda woke to their aroma or to the light through the windows, which had crawled up close to her face.

She sat up in bed and watched Elphaba serve their breakfast in silence. Elphaba came over with a bowl and her cleanest mug. Glinda took the bowl - Elphaba put the mug by the side of the mattress. She got her own food hastily and sat on the floor at a moderate distance from Glinda.

Glinda nudged at the porridge with her spoon. Elphaba blinked, her eyes falling to her hands. "I'm sorry," she managed, her voice thick.

Glinda cleared her throat. "What for? I like porridge." She took a bite and didn't seem disgusted.

"Not… for that." The silence was dense as a blanket. Elphaba sighed shakily. "May I speak plainly?"

"Please do," Glinda said quietly.

"I…" Elphaba stared at her. She almost smiled. "It's good to see you," she said softly. Glinda's eyebrows drew together. Elphaba faltered. "And again, I apologise. I have no excuses for you," Elphaba said, and that was true. "I was scared. I convinced myself I was doing good. I am not sure I deserve your companionship anymore. I understand if I have lost that privilege. I think, because of my actions, that however this unfolds… however we unfold, should be ultimately decided by you." Elphaba could not hold her eye. "It is the least I can give you."

Glinda rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Oh, Elphie," she breathed. Elphaba was flooded with affection. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"Probably not," Elphaba said self deprecatingly.

"You were my life, you know. I lived for you. Stupid girl I am, I still do," Glinda said warily, not looking at Elphaba. "All I truly wanted was you. The money, the houses, the dresses. They lost all their colour. All I could see was brilliant green." Glinda's mouth twisted, her chin trembling. "And then you took it from me," she breathed shakily, finally looking at her. Elphaba flinched. "I feel broken now. You broke me." Glinda pressed the heel of her palms to her eyes. "Take responsibility, you awful person."

"How…" Elphaba leaned forward, not quite daring to touch Glinda. "I'd do anything."

Glinda stared at her lap, obviously thinking hard. "Love yourself," she said. "I love you, Elphaba. I always will, God save my soul. But I cannot love you for you. I cannot inspire love in you," Glinda said, struggling to put across her meaning. She sighed frustratedly . She stood up, much to Elphaba's alarm, and went towards the door.

"Wait-!"

"Come find me when you're ready," Glinda said. She put her hand to Elphaba's cheek. "I would leave my whole life for you," Glinda said gravely. "I would drop everything, do you understand? But I will only do it if you ask me to."

Elphaba blinked. "I can't-"

"Then I won't." Glinda opened the door. "I will not hurt myself for someone who cannot let themselves be happy," Glinda muttered, and left.

Elphaba wanted to chase her down and stop her, talk to her, explain - but what was there to say?

Elphaba was quite listless for the rest of the morning and afternoon. She had been knocked and dazed by it all. Elphaba lay on her mattress and held Glinda's ultimatum in her hands like a rare stone.

What to do. The idea of asking Glinda to give up everything for Elphaba was laughable to her. She was not so arrogant, so presumptuous. But Glinda had invited her to. If Glinda was asking her to, why did it seem so impossible? Why did the idea terrify Elphaba to this extent?

Glinda would know. Even now, Elphaba underestimated Glinda. She had - as she always would - seen through Elphaba. Elphaba had forgot that about her. Every time Glinda said something that illuminated Elphaba's nonexistent soul, she came away surprised, pleased, and a bit intimidated. Glinda would know.

As she pondered this, Glinda's words from that night and the morning after played back over and over in her head. They contained nuggets of knowledge between the anger and resentment. Still, thinking of them only upset her.

Elphaba checked the time and recalled she had a contact to meet with late that night. She let this distract her for a while - she cleaned up and got dressed and met them, and received a tip, a new self-directed assignment. She came home with information to put to use. Her routine now.

She was surprised to find Fiyero sat with Malky by his leg, a cup of tea in his hand. Her other routine. He looked up at her. "Hello… oh, did you forgot I was coming by?"

"I must have," Elphaba said, unwrapping the scarf around her neck and face, pacing into the room. "I have been distracted today, I apologise."

"No skin off my back," he said with an easy smile. He scratched at Malky's ears and chin as Elphaba scribbled down what she'd been told, then made herself a cup of tea. "I saw there were two dishes when I came. Did you have a guest?" Fiyero did not ask this accusingly, just curiously. It would be a first for her to have a guest other than him. Elphaba found herself becoming unaccountably nervous anyway.

"I did. Nothing important."

Fiyero hummed. She jumped slightly when his hands came to her waist. He leaned against her back, his warm palms resting on her ribs and belly beneath her jacket. "A business partner?"

Elphaba smiled sardonically at that. "Yes." He kissed her neck. She leaned away, pressing her hand to his hip to push him from her. "Not today, I can't-"

"You smell different," he said. Elphaba peered back at him. His eyes looked over her face, his eyebrows drawing together. "Did you… put on perfume?"

"Yes, just for you."

"I'm serious. You smell like roses." Elphaba's eyes cut away from his. "Fae. You know… I would not be angry," he said carefully, reluctantly. "I know you are stressed."

Elphaba stepped from his hands. Fiyero watched her expectantly. Elphaba rubbed at her brow. "She found me."

"She found you." His eyes flickered with comprehension. He laughed. "Ah. Oh, wow."

He turned, and looked more upset than she'd expected. "Fiyero. You knew what this was…"

"What this _was_?" He looked at her in shock. "It's a 'was' already? Does she truly have such a hold on you?"

Elphaba scowled. "Be reasonable."

"I do not see how I am being unreasonable," Fiyero said. "Glinda Arduenna pops in, and suddenly we are a was! I feel very special." Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest, and looked wounded. "I feel truly loved."

"You know I never meant it that way," Elphaba said stiffly.

Fiyero sighed. "I know."

"I did not think you meant it that way either, truth be told."

Fiyero rubbed his chin. "I didn't," he said quietly. "Not like… I did not want to make you my wife, or have kids." He rubbed the back of his neck, looked at her insecurely. "I just thought…"

"Just thought what?" Elphaba asked gently, trying to be kind.

Fiyero's hand dropped to his side. He smiled sadly. "You're my favourite person in the world."

Elphaba returned the smile. She had a very real affection for Fiyero. She had come to know him well. She had not really had anyone except Fiyero for almost a year, and they'd developed a relationship neither of them could really define.

And they had filled needs that others could not. Fiyero needed an uncomplicated lover, someone that understood his struggles. Elphaba needed a warm body. An effective distraction, a distraction she could trust.

"Thank you for everything, Fiyero."

"Don't thank me," he said quietly, as if offended. "You're speaking like we can't be anything anymore."

"Of course we will be friends. Always."

He seemed satisfied with that, though it was quite forced. At least he was trying. He cleared his throat, glanced around the room. His eyes settled on the unmade bed. He became teasing. "Are you going steady now?"

Elphaba laughed gruffly. "No."

His eyebrows rose. "You aren't back together?"

"It is not so easy, I'm afraid."

"I see. And we cannot…"

"No." She looked away. "I have hurt her too severely as is."

They were quiet. "I see," Fiyero said eventually. He sighed. "You are very in love." He said this to rib her.

Elphaba stared at nothing. In love. She had come to fear the term intensely. When directed or placed upon her, she went into a sort of lockdown that cut short any emotion or vaguely hopeful thought. Because it was impossible for her. The universe had made it clear she could not truly be loved. Even to like her was hard, her friends had made that clear. Only masochists loved when they could not be loved back.

"Yes," she said tremulously. Fiyero's eyes snapped to hers.

"Oh, Fae."

"I don't know what to do." She sat back on a crate, her face in her hands. Fiyero rubbed her back.

"Do what you must," he said kindly.

Fiyero stayed a while longer. She told him what Glinda had said, and he had seemed impressed. He gave his advice, encouraged Elphaba. Most of it was generic and forced, went over Elphaba's head. One thing stuck with her.

"You should take what she says as true," Fiyero said, semi distracted, staring out the window. "She always wanted that, you know - I remember from Shiz. She always wanted you to take her seriously."

Elphaba had taken her seriously, _did_ take her seriously. She adored Glinda. She had also foolishly convinced herself she somehow knew better than Glinda, even about Glinda's own happiness. It was painful to confront that. It'd lead to perhaps the biggest mistake of her life. What the hell did Elphaba know about happiness? Elphaba knew only how to struggle through.

Doing as Glinda asked would not be arrogant or presumptuous. Glinda had _asked_ her to do it. It was far more arrogant to deny her out of some greater wisdom. No, that was not the problem. The problem was that Elphaba knew her place. Elphaba got the sense Glinda had seen this, too. She was not looking for Elphaba to prove her love to Glinda. She was inviting Elphaba by her side.

But Elphaba could not see herself there. She couldn't see herself beside Fiyero either, or anyone, really. But thinking of Fiyero was not half as devastating as thinking of Glinda.

When Elphaba imagined herself alone, the absence of Glinda stood out. There was a lack of their easy domesticity. A lack of bodies in the bed. Less hairs in the bathroom, with none of the variety. A harrowing loss. She had grieved for these things in her first year in The Emerald City. She pretended - to herself - not to mourn them still.

What she missed the most was just talking to Glinda. Whenever. About anything. All of Glinda's conversation had been a delight to Elphaba. Watching her change, grow, rethink. Learning from her.

Elphaba recalled a time from Shiz. It was after Glinda had become _Glinda_ , when they were more than friends and already kissing whenever they could possibly find the time. Glinda had been studying with Elphaba, and had shown Elphaba the margins of her notebooks. They were full of perfect circles. Glinda could draw them freehand; she said she'd drawn them all through school, and had got it down to a fine art. She drew circles as Elphaba watched on, hawk-like. The width of a coin or the width of the page - both were, by all appearances, flawless.

Elphaba, young prat that she was, went on some condescending spiel about how true perfection wasn't technically possible, wholeness was a lie, God was dead. Glinda had ignored her, drawing spirals and helixes and circles with a mathematical precision Elphaba couldn't quite believe.

She had been genuinely impressed. She had been fascinated. She thought it gave some insight into Glinda's world view. The circles were a private and genuine thing, and they represented perfection. So clean and simple it was almost boring. How very Glinda that seemed. It all made sense. Elphaba had chuckled, shook her head. Glinda Arduenna had been figured out.

This theory didn't hold up in reality. Glinda was a practitioner of magic, an unpredictable and often messy pursuit. She had appreciated the artfully asymmetrical. Things scarred and aged, things in decline, so long as they were beautiful. And she had appreciated Elphaba. You couldn't get less perfect than that.

That whole mystery - Glinda "You're Beautiful" Arduenna - was nowhere near figured out. Elphaba had been having a right crack at it, but she simply didn't have the time. And what a shame that was! And how exciting it was to consider how _different_ Glinda was now! Elphaba almost wanted to take up her ultimatum just for that. Access to this Glinda, this young woman who had hunted her down and kissed her so roughly, and been so familiar and so wonderfully changed.

By end of this and more agonising, Elphaba came to the conclusion that the only option she had was to see Glinda. What would happen then, she could not say.

Elphaba knew where Glinda's estate was, obviously. She had never gotten close to it, afraid to tempt herself into something drastic. Now she found herself scaling the wall to the courtyard, and peering into black windows of the second floor. It was not so late that they would be in bed - Elphaba did not want to catch them in tucked in and surely together, but she figured it may take a few nights to chance upon Glinda in their chambers alone.

There were two balconies. One had a flower wall and the other did not. Elphaba guessed her best bet was the flowery one. She considered throwing stones. She picked up a handful from the white gravel around the fountain and hid in the shadow of a cherryblossom tree, and pelted the glass for a few minutes. The doors opened soon after. A figure came to the edge. They could just as easily have been a servant, until Elphaba noticed that they did not come with a light or even look around. They stood at the edge, and looked out over the night, stoic. Then they went back inside, their doors open, some light now radiating from within their room. Lucky her. Elphaba slipped across the grass and scaled the flower wall.

She fixed her askewed robe and shirt and peered into the room. Glinda was perched on the foot of the bed, her hands folded over her lap. Elphaba meandered into the room, glancing about. It was… nice. Not as grand as she'd imagined Glinda pulling. She stood before Glinda. "Where is your husband?"

"Asleep."

Elphaba's eyebrow arched. "This isn't your room?"

Glinda's eyes fell to her lap. "It is."

"Ah." Elphaba's fingers tapped her thigh. "Not the palace I pictured you in. Surely you have some servant boy to bring you grapes and white wine in the early hours, right?" Elphaba's eyes flickered. "Or servant girl."

Glinda smiled. "I'm afraid I don't. I lost my servant girl some years ago."

Elphaba waited, and then realised the joke, and grinned, clapping her hands together. "My apologies, mistress."

Glinda's smile dampened. She sighed, looking away, exposing the elegant lines of her neck, her hairline just beneath her cropped golden curls. She was in quite an immodest night gown that Elphaba had _not_ noticed at all, obviously, who cared about that? She was fine. "What have you come to say, Elphaba?"

Elphaba did have some vague plan. She was going to explain her current situation, the life she led, and make sure Glinda was truly on board. It sounded more like talking her out of it. But something about being here distracted Elphaba. Glinda seemed like such a _wife_. Sitting on a bed, in a room, in a huge house she did not own, with a mysterious man in the other room. Her fashionably cropped hair, her night dress. Did she wear that for Chuffrey ever?

"Only once," Glinda replied unsurely. Elphaba hadn't realised she'd asked it out loud. Glinda peered down at her chest, adjusted its fit on her. "Do you like it?" she asked, and sounded younger, like herself in Shiz. Elphaba hands twisted together.

"Oh yes," Elphaba said warmly. "You look lovely."

To give Elphaba such a look. It was unfair. Elphaba wiped her hands on her shirt, struggling for control. "Chuffrey seemed to enjoy it," Glinda said offhandedly, and Elphaba's fists clenched.

"That was cruel."

Glinda laughed. As if Elphaba had the right to call her cruel. "Well?" Glinda asked. "What are you here to say? Anything but what I asked for, I'm sure."

Elphaba searched Glinda's face. She wasn't playing at indifference; she looked openly vulnerable, and angry, and ready for however Elphaba chose to hurt her. Elphaba's hand came to her mouth. "I'm in love with you," she said. Her script was already out the window, and she was terrified. Glinda's eyes widened.

"You've never..."

"Leave Chuffrey." Elphaba blinked, and committed herself to the request. "Um. Please."

Glinda's mouth fell agape. "Truly?" she asked.

"Yes."

Glinda stood. A smile slowly developed until she was beaming. They drifted toward each other like magnets. She took Elphaba's face in her hands, staring at her with such reverence. Elphaba felt herself getting quite emotional. "Chuffrey's never seen this night dress." Elphaba sputtered out a laugh. Glinda grinned to see it. "He's nothing to me," she murmured, and pressed her lips to Elphaba's softly. "Nothing." They kissed more firmly, and Elphaba hissed, both of them pulling away.

"Busted lip," Elphaba said with a little smile. Glinda's eyes softened.

"Oh, Elphie," she cooed, brushing her thumb over it gently. She pulled her into the ensuite, where she had medical spirits and balls of cotton. Glinda looked embarrassed as she cleaned Elphaba's lip. "I did quite a number on you, didn't I?"

"I survived," Elphaba said with a smirk. The alcohol stung. "You were upset…" Elphaba's voice became heavy with guilt. Glinda's face fell slightly.

"I was." There was a pause. "And I still am. I would be lying if I said otherwise."

"I know."

Glinda put away the spirits, the cotton, sat on the lavatory opposite Elphaba, propping her face on her hands. "It's going to be a while until we're how we were before," she said quietly. Elphaba's chest constricted.

"Do you… feel differently about me?"

"No-" Glinda hesitated, sighed. "Yes, but not fundamentally. Maybe fundamentally." Glinda shook her head. "You severed us. Now that needs to heal. There may be permanent damage." Glinda glanced at her. "We'll see."

Elphaba settled, with that example to work with. "Sometimes things are stronger once they heal. Muscles have to tear in order to grow."

"Still love your biology, I see."

"Of course," Elphaba said with a smile.

"Maybe we will be stronger," Glinda said softly. "I hope so."

They fell into comfortable silence. The other conversation hung above them like a threat. What were they going to do? Glinda would leave Chuffrey. What then? Move in with Elphaba? Live on her own? Would she get a job, and be an independent woman, her parents' greatest fear? Would she drop off the map, like Elphaba had?

They did not confront these things yet. Glinda stood and took her hand, and led her to bed. She locked the door, pulled shut the curtains, extinguished the light. She slipped in beside Elphaba and pulled her arm over her body, fitting herself to the curve of Elphaba's front. Elphaba had forgotten the peace she experienced with Glinda sleeping in her arms. She lay awake for hours, perhaps out of old muscle memory, trying not to be overwhelmed by her.


	4. Hypothesis

Glinda may have been her best friend.

Elphaba could only suspect. She had little experience with these things. They were friendly. They talked frequently, ate with Boq and the rest of those rambunctious boys often, sat together in class occasionally. Glinda sometimes joined her arrogant little pack of girls instead. But this was quite infrequent, and Glinda had already told Elphaba how boring she found them now. Elphaba was rather proud of her.

They also shopped together. The Buttery was a semi-reliable source of nutrients, but there were times when you simply didn't have the energy to go all that way for a cup of tea. They had purchased a little stash of earl grey, infusers, a pair of mugs - matching, not that it mattered - and got hot water and milk from the dormitory common room. It had snowballed from there. Now they had herbal teas - peppermint for the morning, chamomile for the evening, lemon and ginger when they were coming down with something - and an all-important stash of biscuits. They had gotten little bags of nuts and dried fruit for while they studied, exotic crackers from Quadling Country for picnics. Exotic to Glinda, at least. They were home to Elphaba.

They went on their little expedition twice a month. Glinda paid for everything, and so had the liberty to buy all the teas and biscuits and tidbits her heart desired, and only those of the best quality. The benefits of being friends with Glinda Arduenna. This particular morning they were unchaperoned - Nessa was sick, and it was just down the street. It was rather thrilling, though neither of them were likely to exploit it.

"Anything else you'd like, Elphie?" Glinda asked as usual. Elphaba pondered over it as they strolled between the shelves.

"Perhaps an apple to munch on."

"You could be a tad more exciting."

"... A persimmon?" Glinda rolled her eyes.

"Get chocolate or something! You need a bit of padding." Glinda poked her naughtily in the side, made her jump. "Oh! Have you had figs before?"

"I haven't," Elphaba said warily as Glinda found them.

"I do love a good fig." She glanced at the store owner, who was distracted by the paper. They were the only customers. Glinda plucked one from the display and bit the fat end, her eyes falling closed. "To die for. Have one, Elphie."

Elphaba drifted toward her. "You'll get us banned," she said quietly.

"You'll certainly be banned from my company if you don't do as I say." Elphaba did enjoy Glinda so much at times like these. Glinda held up a fig, and Elphaba gave her a look and a smirk, and bit it right from her delicate fingers. Glinda giggled and blushed, covering her mouth quickly. Elphaba blinked at the unexpected texture of the fig, the subtle and clean sweetness of it.

"That was quite good."

"See?" Glinda said proudly, her nose in the air. "You ought to listen to me more often. I have a perfect palate."

She was hilarious. "A perfect palate? My dear, how in Oz do you know?"

"My father said so." Elphaba laughed outright. Glinda poked her again. "Oh, leave me be."

They went and paid for their groceries, including a little paper bag of figs. They stood on the corner of the road, Elphaba about to cross before Glinda stopped her. "Why don't we go on a wander?"

Elphaba glanced to Glinda and then to Crage Hall, full of books, so near by. "Why?"

"For fun, you twig." The air about Glinda changed, and she arched a brow, looked away from Elphaba. "I thought you were a bit more daring than that, but perhaps you've become quite meek? Scared into good behaviour?"

"I'm not scared," Elphaba said defensively before she could even think about what Glinda was clearly trying to do. Glinda gave her a smug smile and she rolled her eyes. "You needn't play me so. Where are we going?"

Glinda grinned. "Come with me." She took her hand.

Glinda had been the first person to ever hold Elphaba's hand. It was almost a year ago now. Glinda had done it as part of a lark; not a prank, but a children's game. She had taken Elphaba's hand in hers and held it palm-side up. She had drawn a cross with her finger, then did the same to her own palm, and sang a rhyme as she did it. "Thick and thin, any weather, crossed palms mean -" she pressed their crossed palms together, fingers locking between Elphaba's, "- friends forever. That's what we did in Frottica." Elphaba, embarrassingly moved, had snatched her hand away.

Glinda called them a carriage. She didn't ask where they were going. She found Glinda's quiet pride very amusing and had no desire to spoil it. They emerged toward the edge of Shiz. "Isn't this a bit far out?"

"We'll be fine."

"I'll be fine. I'm not sure about you."

Glinda glanced at her. "You would not protect me?" She asked it airily, already knowing the answer. Elphaba's hand tightened around hers.

They came to a large building that was half way through some manner of construction. It was currently absent of workmen. They made sure they were unseen and slipped inside. It was a train station in the making, or on the decline. In the centre of the huge hall, the roof swelled up into a wide dome, a tower within the structure chasing its highest point. It still had an old factory sign half up the length of the tower. Glinda meandered beneath it, looking up. "I think this must be a heritage building or something. The factory, I mean. They built this station right around it. Isn't it marvellous?" she asked, her voice bouncing throughout the space.

"It is. Good acoustics."

Glinda turned around, her hair and dress swishing and floating prettily, her eyes alight. "Oh, would you sing, Elphie? Please?" Elphaba was reluctant, and Glinda saw it immediately, stepping close into her space and taking up her hands. Again with the hand holding. "Oh please, please, _please_ sing. Miss Nessarose says your voice is lovely."

"Nessa has not heard very many voices, I'm afraid."

"I believe she is nevertheless correct," Glinda said with a sweet smile. "You have quite a nice voice as is."

Elphaba stiffened somewhat. "You're mistaken, I think."

"Well, not nice persay." She looked off contemplatively. "Rich? It's quite deep, for a girls. And it has this rumble," Glinda said thoughtfully, her hands moving against Elphaba's, sliding and locking their fingers together. "It's a bit. I don't know."

Glinda was doing that thing she did when she wanted to say something but she was worried it was too scandalous. Elphaba tugged her hands playfully, smirked. "A bit what? We don't have all afternoon."

She smiled a smile that made Elphaba's stomach feel funny. "It's a bit seductive."

Their eyes met. A strange thing happened, something Elphaba had never experienced. She felt as if an odd magnetism had developed between them, drawing her in. Glinda's lashes fluttered, and she looked away. She cleared her throat and glanced back at Elphaba, and the magnetism was gone, thank god.

"What is my voice like?" Glinda asked. "Nothing like yours, I know that."

"Your voice." Elphaba's eyes wandered. "Your voice is very you."

"Well, it's the only voice I have," Glinda said, annoyed. "Give me a real answer."

"It's pretty, I assure you." Glinda scoffed as if she were the least convincing person in the world. Elphaba decided to give the girl a bone, formulate a real answer.

Elphaba did pay attention to voices. Glinda's voice was part of the reason they had managed to be friends, in truth. She could not imagine speaking regularly to someone as high and nasal as Pfannee, and hated conversation with Morrible all the more for her overly breathy and waffling way. Glinda's voiced was bearable. More than bearable.

"You have the immature beginnings of a lady's voice. Sweet, a bit thick. Always warm," Elphaba said, glancing away from her, not able to hold her eye. "And you have a rural drawl. I suppose you got that from your parents? Unbearably silly on anyone but you, that accent. Don't know how you manage it." She said this snidely.

She felt her hand taken and pressed between Glinda's. "I see," she murmured. Elphaba could not return the gaze she felt upon her profile. "Elphaba."

Elphaba's eyes closed, a shiver running through her. That voice was closer than she'd expected, like it was right in her ear. It wasn't. What were all these sensory hallucinations she'd been experiencing lately? Perhaps it was some strange magic that lingered around Glinda after her seminars with Greyling. Warped reality around her. She drew things closer to her; she warmed a room, made things and maybe people hot with a glance; her voice and laughter pierced some sonic veil and caught more attention than others, like her hair caught sunlight. Yes. Magic.

"Elphie?"

Elphaba blinked. "Mm?"

Glinda locked their fingers together again. There was something intimate about that; palm to palm contact. Her other hand drifted up, brushed against Elphaba's neck. Elphaba shook, and she was sure Glinda felt it through their hands. She looked at Glinda to see if that were the case and regretted it immediately - how did you look away from such a curious expression? It was quite impossible. She felt her hands getting clammy, wished she could wipe them on her dress.

Her hair was adjusted so it rested over her shoulder. The backs of Glinda's fingers grazed Elphaba's jaw, her thumb touching her chin - and then Elphaba saw it. The focusing of Glinda's eyes, her tongue wetting her lips. The purpose. Elphaba brought her shaking hand up to hold Glinda's wrist, to stop her or to steady herself. Her brain was screaming, but that magnetism was back, that physics-bending-thing that pulled her whole world down to Glinda. She was scarily close to hyperventilating, until Glinda closed her eyes, and then her breath stopped dead. She squeezed her eyes shut too. That's what you did, according to books she'd read. Not being able to see was more and less terrifying.

There was a moment, a sigh of breath against her chin, and then - warm, and so soft. Were kisses always this gentle? The contact was barely there, but where it was, it tingled; it felt different from anything Elphaba had ever experienced. Glinda pressed her lips more firmly to Elphaba's, and then feather light again - was she trying to test Elphaba? Elphaba didn't have the mental faculties to handle any kind of test at the moment. She was barely responding. She wasn't responding at all, in fact, she was feeling quite light headed.

Glinda pulled back, and Elphaba gasped out her held breath, wincing and flustered. Oh, god. She'd completely ruined the entire moment. Glinda was staring at her, brow furrowed in concern. "Elphie?"

Elphaba got her breathing under control. "Sorry," she half-wheezed.

Glinda analysed Elphaba. Glinda's chin trembled, and she closed her eyes briefly, inhaled. Her mouth became a firm little line. "Was that awful of me?" She asked.

Elphaba swallowed, blinked. "No," she said, her voice made odd by quietness. "No. I'm sorry I spoiled it. It was… I wanted to. Mostly." She realised the implication, saw Glinda's eyes change. "No, I mean - I did, I had thought about it quite a bit, but I was scared." Her breath caught at the admission. Glinda gazed at her with some emotion.

"You don't have to be scared." Glinda's hand opened over her cheek, her thumb stroking her cheekbone. "You could never do wrong in my eyes, Elphie. Not with this."

Elphaba chuckled breathily. "I assure you, I can."

Glinda's bit her lip nervously. Her hand dropped from Elphaba's cheek, her eyes following. She shook her head. "No, I don't think you could. You could do anything and I would be in love with it." There was a distinct vulnerability to her tone.

"Glinda…"

"Maybe you don't share this. Maybe you don't feel how I feel. But I'm -" Glinda sighed, glanced up at her. "I feel like I live to touch you. I can't help it anymore. I feel so- so _desperate_ ," she managed, ashamed and disgusted. "It's all I can think about. This." She lifted their clasped hands.

Elphaba was feeling more ecstatic than she had ever felt in her entire eighteen years of life. This came immediately with a strong and very distinct queasiness. It was the same queasiness she got when Frex acted like a father or her friends acted like she was a fun and normal human being.

"I've put you off," Glinda said, devastated. Elphaba snapped back to attention. The girl was tearing up. The queasiness increased tenfold. "I - I'm so sorry Elphie, I thought-"

"No, you haven't, I promise you," Elphaba said quickly, and struggled desperately with herself. "S-shall we sit down?"

Glinda was silent, and lead them to a nearby step. They sat down. Elphaba pressed her face into her hands. She breathed steadily, to calm herself. She peered at Glinda, not wanting to leave her too long with her anxieties. "I will be as honest as I can possibly manage," Elphaba mumbled. She attempted to think of something to say. Nothing came to her, nothing coherent. It was all so honest it wouldn't make sense, the context still jumbled in Elphaba's head. She became frustrated with herself and laughed helplessly. Glinda looked concerned.

"Elphie, are you alright?"

"You terrify me sometimes," Elphaba sighed. She glanced at Glinda, who sat quietly, brow furrowed and unsure. "I apologise. You're ten steps ahead of me with this stuff. I'm quite useless."

"With feelings, or with… the other side of it." How direct of her. Elphaba's face burned.

"With the feelings." Elphaba tipped her head. "And with the rest, I'm sure. I can only assume you've had some experience."

"None. Or, well, none I invited." Elphaba's eyes snapped to Glinda's. Glinda's eyes widened. "Oh no, nothing so bad as that - kisses, just kisses, from boys who could not ask, apparently. Master Boq. Some boy when we were practically infants. Silly things."

"Boq kissed you?"

Glinda's brow arched. "Indeed he did, at lake Chorge. You remember that trip, yes?"

"That little devil," Elphaba said, outraged. "I'll smack his hat right off his head next time we're out."

"No need. Are you quite jealous?" Glinda asked with interest. "I enjoyed our kiss much more."

Elphaba cut her eyes at Glinda, wary at the ease with which she talked of it. "I'd almost convinced myself that was some kind of hallucination."

Glinda looked something between exasperated and anxious. "You sound as if you wanted it so. I can't tell if you enjoyed it or not."

Right. She'd not yet addressed Glinda's implied question. Under pressure, she defaulted to the analytical. "I enjoyed the kiss itself. I'm sure if I were less distressed during the kiss it would have been an even better experience. But as for the implications. They're quite a puzzle," Elphaba said delicately. "Your actions imply you are attracted to me. This is a completely abstract concept - your supposed attraction toward myself - and so I have no prior experience to fall back on."

"I see," Glinda said slowly, more confused than ever.

"I am forced to create hypotheses on insufficient evidence. Perhaps you are rebelling against your parents, or society at large. Perhaps you have looked upon my dismal existence and taken pity on me. Perhaps the figs were overripe."

"Perhaps I just find you attractive," Glinda supplied helpfully.

Elphaba pressed her hands together. "I find that unlikely. You are an appreciator of the arts, that implies some aesthetic knowledge or competence, assuming there is such a thing. I believe your - shall we call it a fixation? - your _appreciation_ for the beautiful makes that theory very unlikely."

Glinda observed her thoughtfully. It made Elphaba somewhat self conscious. "I agree that I have a discerning eye, I would not call it a fixation. Even if it were, I cannot agree with your conclusion." Glinda pursed her lips, eyed her coyly. "I think your science may have gone bad, darling."

Darling. That still startled Elphaba. "How so?"

"You cannot simply obscure key factors within said theory. You have addressed the eye of the beholder, but not whom it beholds."

Elphaba found herself becoming defensive. "I question whether the beheld requires address."

"They do. They're very important."

"I disagree-"

"I don't care," Glinda said sharply. Elphaba blinked, stunned into silence. "You're beautiful, Elphaba Thropp. And I have a better sense for these things, you said it yourself. I know it's hard for you to believe, but I'm being as honest as I can be when I say that I'm more attracted to you than I've ever been to anybody."

Elphaba couldn't respond. The magnetism returned, or perhaps Glinda was just drifting toward her, and their eyes fell shut. They kissed again, and it was somehow better than the first, like she'd theorised. She still felt queasy, but her hands didn't shake as much, and when Glinda's lips moved over hers she managed - by instinct, by sheer desire - to move with her.

They came breathlessly apart after some time. Glinda gazed into her with hazy eyes, her lips reddened. "What's the conclusion, Elphie?" She asked.

Elphaba curled her hand over the back of Glinda's neck. "The beholder and the beheld should waste less time talking when there is important science to conduct." Glinda giggled against her grinning lips and pulled them closer. Mouth to mouth with Glinda, it was as if Elphaba was more felt than seen, and that was more comforting than she'd imagined anything could be.


	5. Veneration

"Quite the rendezvous, my dear. You always have had a flair for the dramatic."

Glinda watched the robed figure before her rise from their kneel like a black spectre. They had their back to her. Above their head was a faded rendering of St. Glinda, wreathed in glittering gold leaf. Elphaba turned slowly. Glinda watched the candlelight catch her hair and struggled not to run into her arms. "I thought it was appropriate," Elphaba replied. Her voice was rough.

Glinda stepped toward her, heels clicking loudly on stone. Elphaba seemed to draw away from her. Glinda stopped. "Come now, where is your courage?" she asked gently.

Elphaba hesitated, then came forward to stand under what little moonlight was in the tiny chamber, illuminating herself. Glinda was grinning before she knew it. "I think I have forgotten how this works," Elphaba admitted. "Human interaction."

"The Animals do not speak to you?"

"They do, if they want to. When they can." She looked at her hands, calloused and twisted together. "It is not common in the areas I am working."

"Where is that?" Elphaba turned her head. It was a thoughtlessly asked question. Glinda slapped her leather gloves against her palm. "Well, you need not fret Elphie, I will not judge you."

Elphaba stepped forward and then back as if she hadn't meant to, her face contorting. "Ah, that stupid nickname."

Glinda looked over her, smiling faintly. She approached Elphaba, and stopped only when they were very close. The closeness made them aware of the wall that had developed between them. It simply wouldn't do.

She tucked Elphaba's hair behind her ear, brushing the back of her fingers against her cheek. Elphaba closed her eyes, shivering at the contact. "Elphie." Elphaba trembled hard, and pressed her hand over Glinda's. She turned her face to kiss Glinda's palm. Glinda kept her voice low and careful. "Elphie, my darling. My love. I've missed you."

Elphaba turned her face again to kiss her lips, finally. Glinda opened her mouth and drew Elphaba fiercely against her. She felt like she had been rent in two and now Elphaba's arms, so strong and curling tightly around her waist, were pulling her back together.

It had been too long this time. There had been months, two or four, seven once, but never a year. A year with no contact. A year to panic for her safety. A year to ache for her. A year to question everything they had felt and shared for a decade.

It reminded her, reminded them both, of that awful time right after school.

Elphaba broke the kiss to press her seared face into Glinda's shoulder. Her hands trembled against Glinda's waist. "We can't do this," Glinda breathed. "Elphie, we can't do this. We need to talk somehow, I need to know you're well."

"I know," Elphaba said brokenly. Glinda had seen Elphaba cry maybe twice and it had killed Glinda every time. She kept her face from Elphaba to not burn her further. She bundled Elphaba tight in her arms, murmured soothing things to her, desperate to comfort her.

"Dear Oz, you're alive. I'm so glad you're alive. I'm perfectly fine, I'm marvellous. I love you, Elphie, I'm so proud of what you're doing." Elphaba nuzzled into her neck. Glinda sighed. "You're well. Elphie, what do you want? If you could have absolutely anything right now, what would you ask for?" She wanted to give her things. She wanted to make this reunion, this time away from her work as lovely and as comfortable as possible. A nice hotel. Her favourite food and drink. Clean clothes. A good romp in a soft bed, and an undisturbed sleep of at least twelve hours.

She wanted most of all to make Elphaba stay. But that wouldn't happen.

"What do I want?" Elphaba struggled to find words. She gave them up, and drew Glinda back against her.

Glinda found themselves laid out on St. Glinda's altar, surrounded by dead petals and ceremonial candles. Elphaba must have lit them while waiting for Glinda. Had she been praying? Usually they were not desperate during these reunions - it was essential they weren't desperate, in fact - but this was different. A year from Elphaba felt like spiritual death. They pressed close and tight, trying to fuse together all of the tethers that felt damaged now.

Glinda had to relearn the act of kissing. She had to map the familiar terrain of Elphaba's mouth and throat all over again. It came back quickly enough, and it was not at all an unpleasant experience. Glinda would happily spend all week reviewing Elphaba's body, which she adored inch by inch.

Glinda undressed. She did it sitting on Elphaba's lap, like a ritual to welcome Elphaba back to her. Elphaba watched, hands moving over her too softly. "You are splendid," she sighed. Glinda did feel splendid receiving such meticulous attention, but Elphaba had always had a talent for that.

Glinda persuaded Elphaba to undress with her. Elphaba complied reluctantly. She did it lying back, where the moonlight didn't touch her and she could fold her arms over herself. Another wall that had risen from the dead. Glinda was not upset, it was a wall she had helped Elphaba deconstruct time and time again. It only made her sad. Glinda took hold of her wrists gently. She unfolded her arms and brought Elphaba's hands to her thighs. It reminded Elphaba of what was important, made her eager again.

She sat up, gripping and pressing Glinda's hips as tightly against her as possible, her mouth climbing up Glinda's chest and neck. Glinda buried her hands in Elphaba's hair, a sensation she had missed immensely. She slid a hand down her shifting back. Elphie was so bony it worried Glinda, but that was just her body. Over and between all the angles was muscle - muscle made harder and bigger since she'd started her more rigorous assignments over Oz. They moved beneath her hands in the most tantalising way. Elphaba was far from a broad person still. Forever a beanpole, only more defined. Glinda loved it.

Big hands for such a narrow person. They slid over her feather-light, made her nerves burn. Glinda dragged her nails down Elphaba's shoulders, a non-verbal demand, and Elphaba chuckled breathily against her ear. She seized Glinda's bottom roughly - Glinda gasped, shuddering against her - and curled an arm around Glinda's waist. There was a particularly exciting contrast within everything Elphaba did. Calloused hands that held her tenderly. A soft, wet, hot mouth, with relentless teeth that raked over Glinda's cleavage, framed her nipple carefully.

Glinda found herself grinding down into Elphaba's lap, attempting some measure of relief. She didn't really care for teasing right now. She grasped Elphaba's jaw and pulled her into a firm kiss, sucking Elphaba's tongue into her mouth. Elphaba groaned shamelessly, her hands squeezing whatever they were holding. She caressed Glinda's inner thigh, thumb rubbing the crook of her leg and hip, and Glinda automatically spread her legs as if in answer. She was, still, frustratingly light. Glinda was about to bite Elphaba or something before she felt her fingers uncurl and slide between Glinda's lips, her thumb pressing cautiously against her hood. Glinda arched and moaned, her voice catching as Elphaba dipped very slightly inside of her.

Elphaba let out a shaky breath. "Lord, you're wet," she murmured. Her voice was so low it rumbled in her chest. Glinda had dreamed of that voice more times than she could count.

"Mm. I've been anticipating this greatly." Elphaba made some noise against her neck, acknowledgment and a return of the sentiment. "I was touching myself all through the carriage ride here." She had touched herself with rather more indulgence than Elphaba touched her now. Maddening.

Elphaba peered up at her, eyes bright. "Thinking of me?"

Glinda held her face, brushing her thumb over Elphaba's lips. "Elphie… who else?" Elphaba became flustered, and pulled Glinda's thumb into her mouth, her tongue sliding against its unworked pad. She kissed Glinda's palm, and took Glinda's two fingers when they were pressed to her lips, sucking at them gently. Glinda could have swooned. Watching Elphaba with her lips around her was incredibly erotic, and she seemed so _keen_ on it. Elphaba pulled back, running her tongue between Glinda's fingers, blushing hard. She peered up at Glinda nervously.

"Was that odd?"

Glinda sighed dreamily, dipped down to kiss her. "No, my love."

Elphaba buried her head in the crook of Glinda's neck and slid her finger deeper inside Glinda, curling ever-so-slightly. She never quite touched that place Glinda wanted her to and she knew it, the devil. It was only when she added a second finger that she reached further within Glinda, pressing against her, making her moan and grip Elphaba's back and flexing arm, her thighs squeezing together desperately. She managed to regain control of her body, matched her rhythm, riding Elphaba roughly. She pressed her lips to Elphaba's temple. "More," she breathed, and whimpered as Elphaba slid another finger in her, stretching her in the most excellent way.

Elphaba had been quite taken aback when Glinda had made that preference clear. Elphaba, because of her particular sex or simply because of her size, rarely enjoyed any more than a finger inside of her. Glinda had asked how her and Fiyero had managed it. Elphaba had responded reluctantly. "Grinding. He tried once. He was too large."

"I can imagine, big gent like him."

"He was average in size, I believe," Elphaba had said with some amusement. "Had you imagined? Fiyero's size."

"Oh, shut up Elphie." She could only take conversation about old flames for so long.

Elphaba thrust her fingers to the knuckle, slick heel pressing against her clit, and Glinda was gone; she leaned back in Elphaba's arms, shaking and dragging her nails hard over Elphaba's shoulders.

She cradled Glinda against her with one arm, the other fussing with something else, Glinda was not paying attention. She lay Glinda down on some fabric thing instead of the chilly stone floor. Glinda stretched, sighing and shivering with aftershocks. Elphaba sat between her legs with a somewhat smug smile. "Let me know when you're ready to continue."

"Oh, I'll need a good while after that."

"Well I'm aching for it. Can I borrow your thigh?" Elphaba draped herself over Glinda, lifting her leg over Glinda's hip. She pressed herself against Glinda. Her eyes fluttered shut. She hid her face in Glinda's breasts, rocking against her with a hypnotic kind of sensuality.

Glinda ran her hand over Elphaba's shoulders and down her back, grabbing at what little behind she had, sliding her fingers between Elphaba's legs. Elphaba twitched, purring into Glinda's cleavage. That was the only way Glinda could describe that particular sound Elphaba made. It came from deep within her, was as husky as her speaking voice, and rolled from her heavy with pleasure. It reminded Glinda a bit of a Tiger, which was somehow more erotic. Was that morally wrong? She'd ask Elphaba later.

Glinda focused on pressing her fingers against Elphaba's folds, around her unusually large pearl, rubbing it between her fingers gently. Elphaba came up on her arms and caught Glinda in a messy, open mouthed kiss, rutting against her hip desperately. Glinda stroked her faster, and Elphaba went dead still, her whole body going taught as a bowstring. She exhaled, and released, melting over Glinda bonelessly.

Glinda gathered her into her arms, running her hands over Elphaba's back. Glinda observed her exhausted profilet and smiled. She kissed her forehead.

Elphaba rolled off of her, stretching as Glinda had, then lying limp and exposed. Glinda took to tracing her fingers over the scores in Elphaba's skin. There were enough to keep her going for ages. She peered up at Elphaba. "Have you gotten any new scars?"

"Yes," Elphaba said brightly. She thought her scars gave her character, an attitude that always surprised Glinda considering how insecure Elphie was otherwise. "On my shoulder."

"Left or right?"

"Left."

Glinda ran her hand over her shoulder and felt it, and then pressed her lips to it. "How did you get it?"

"Oh, you don't want to know." Glinda made a face and Elphaba chuckled. "It was a bayonet belonging to a Gale Force private. Thought he could leap his way up his career by killing me. Hunted me for a good few weeks."

"My god, how awful!"

"I survived," Elphaba said too flippantly for Glinda. "He never got a shot, and when it came to a melee confrontation I was able to immobilize him. Stole his rifle too."

"Oh Elphie, you didn't," Glinda said with mounting concern. Elphaba's eyes lit up.

"I did. I got a sniper rifle, too. Those things are beastly. They have a telescopic lens mounted on the top."

Galinda leaned away from her. "Since when do you like weapons?"

"I don't. I would never use one, not unless push came to shove I suppose." She paused. "I might sniper Morrible."

"Elphie!"

"Or the Wizard himself. That pathetic man is begging for it."

Glinda pressed her hand to her head, chuckling exasperatedly. It had been so long, she even missed the way Elphaba made her worry like this. "Please don't shoot anyone. Your work is dangerous enough as it is without that on your head." Glinda looked at her. "And it would haunt you, my love. It would not be good for you."

"Soldiers kill all the time."

"Soldiers come back with their heads in pieces."

Elphaba fell silent at that. "I won't shoot anyone."

"Thank you."

Elphaba sat up. She leaned down to kiss Glinda, then got on her knees, reaching for a bundle by the altar. "I nicked something for us."

Glinda sat up on her elbows. "What?"

Elphaba shuffled back beside her and yanked open an ancient bottle of blessed wine. "If it's good enough for saints..." Elphaba said with a charming grin. She took a swig and passed it over.

"We are saints, are we not?" Glinda said it to poke her. Her name's association was an amusingly effective bait for her temper.

Elphaba glanced down at her, brushing her thumb over Glinda's lips. "You may well be, my sweet." Glinda melted. Distance was hell, but it made Elphaba dreadfully romantic. Glinda took a long pull of the wine.

"Is this from Settica?"

"How the hell would I know?" Elphaba said distractedly.

"Settica use stone to hold their reserves so there's less tannin. This has that acidity..." Elphaba looked at her in mild disgust. "I can't help how I was raised," Glinda said breezily. She lay back, glancing around the little shrine. "What were you doing in here?"

"Hm?"

"Just now, and before - I told you this is how I found you back then, yes? - why did you come here?"

Elphaba had thrown on a shirt, and was going about lighting more of the candles on the altar. "I was praying."

Well now. "Since when do you pray?"

Elphaba settled beside Glinda, laying on her side to look at her. "I don't pray to the Unnamed God."

"You pray to St. Glinda?" Glinda asked softly. Elphaba's black eyes caught hers and held them. She had a gaze that absorbed your own.

"Yes."

"What do you pray for?"

They had drifted closer together. Elphaba pressed her lips to Glinda's, brushed her cheek against hers. "For her to bring me home." Her lips moved against Glinda's neck. "For her to protect me."

Glinda curled her arms around Elphaba, holding her close. She wished she could keep Elphaba with her. She wished she _could_ protect her. If she were there she could provide warmth, spells, make potions, take bullets. Nothing Elphaba truly needed, she supposed, except companionship. If Elphaba even needed that.

Elphaba had nestled into her shoulder. Glinda leaned back to peer down at her. She was breathing very slowly, perhaps asleep, Glinda wasn't sure. She was peaceful in that she was static. Still she looked troubled, her brow in a permanent furrow, her mouth tense. Glinda ran her hands through Elphaba's hair, fingers running over her scalp, sometimes brushing her ear. She did this over and over, her breathing matched to Elphaba's, and Elphaba slowly relaxed bit by bit. She seemed suddenly as soft and vulnerable as a child.

They lay there for a short time, Glinda's hands running through Elphaba's hair and over her back. Elphaba blinked sleepily. She peered up at Glinda. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," Glinda murmured. Glinda brushed her fingers over Elphaba's cheek. "You should stay for the week. Get some rest."

"I don't have the time," Elphaba sighed.

"Elphie, you're your own boss. You _do_ have the time. Time at least for a week." Elphaba looked unsure. Glinda's thumb traced her bottom lip. "Please, my love. We haven't been together for a _year_."

Elphaba took on this particular look. Glinda remembered it right back to their days in Shiz. It'd been the same look that had made Glinda realise Elphaba was in love with her. It filled Glinda with some indescribable feeling for her strange and mythic partner. "Okay," Elphaba said quietly.

"Thank you."

Elphaba hesitated, her eyes dropping. "No, I… want to. I want to be with you."

Glinda smiled adoringly. "And you _need to rest_ ," she said sternly.

"I do rest on the job, you know."

"Not enough knowing you," Glinda shot back. Elphaba made some noise, neither confirming nor denying this claim. They fell into a comfortable silence.

In the space of this silence, Glinda's mind caught up to her body. It was still unsure of Elphaba's existence. The year gone by had felt like one of the longest Glinda had endured, but was now rendered some strange and irrelevant blur. What had happened? Work, friends, some changes? Nothing important. Important had been off in the south, saving the world.

"It's awfully chilly here."

"I have another blanket if you'd like to use it."

Glinda would rather go home. Elphaba had yet to see her new apartment. Glinda had been living in a loft a bit like Elphaba's old room, but she'd recently left her job at an apothecary to assist a court witch, and could afford to upgrade. Her most useful contacts came through Crope these days; he had become a journalist to fund his thespian pursuits, and introduced everyone he could to Glinda. She had become somewhat infamous for her divorced-spinster status. Thankfully, anyone that liked Crope enough to meet his friends generally approved of Glinda's lifestyle.

They agreed to go to Glinda's apartment. Elphaba draped the blanket about her anyway, as it was closer to a robe. It didn't look right with Glinda's outfit at all but it smelled like Elphaba and like the woods. Glinda pulled it around herself, her cheeks warm, Elphaba's hand resting on the small of her back the whole way.

They came to a building that apparently surprised Elphaba. She looked up and down the street. "When you said you'd moved, you didn't mention that you'd moved _up_. This is much too nice a street."

"It's not poverty-stricken," Glinda allowed, unlocking the front door and leading Elphaba up the flight of stairs. She unlocked and followed Elphaba into the apartment. She took off her shoes at the door, a habit she'd picked up from her old boss at the apothecary, a half-Quadling. "The bed will be a tad tight, but let's be honest, we'll be on top of each other the whole time." Elphaba didn't respond. She was standing in the middle of the combination kitchen-and-dining room, looking about herself. "Elphie?"

She looked back at Glinda. "This is… nice."

Glinda smiled unsurely. "You've gotten used to the forest, haven't you?"

"Perhaps."

Glinda made them tea and a dish involving all of Elphaba's favourite vegetables - Glinda had inferred these through observation alone. Elphaba went into the bathroom to wash, scrubbing herself with her oils and brushing her hair until it shone. Elphaba paced around in an open robe she had borrowed from Glinda's collection, a thing of mauve silk that ended midthigh. Glinda watched, torn between laughing and tackling her onto the bed. She settled on a giggle. "Is that how they dress where you were working?"

Elphaba was putting her hair up, and peered at Glinda with a strip of cloth in her mouth. She transferred it into her hand. "Depends how much fur they had."

"Really?"

"No," Elphaba said with a little smile. She padded over to Glinda, and Glinda loved the image of it. Elphaba, basically naked in _her_ clothes, in _her_ apartment, her hair loosely bound. Glinda rested her hands on Elphaba's hips when she was close enough, leaning back against the kitchenette counter and pulling Elphaba against her. Elphaba's brow arched. "Don't want to hear any more about my friends, then?"

"You may tell me all about them when you're looking less attractive." Elphaba's face darkened. She pulled Glinda into a slow and thorough kiss. She took Glinda's lip between her teeth, pulling at it gently, chasing the pain with her tongue. That drove Glinda mad. Her hands moved down, grabbing Elphaba's bottom, pressing them together firmly.

Elphaba sighed against her mouth and pulled back just when it was getting good. "You're cooking." Glinda frowned, then rolled her eyes and turned to check the food. Elphaba peered over her shoulder. "Smells good."

"It's everything you like."

Elphaba inspected the pan curiously. She made a noise. "So it is." She picked up a piece of zucchini, popping it into her mouth. Glinda slapped her arm. Elphaba snorted, kissed her cheek and pulled away from her. "I have a letter to write. Do you have ink?"

"Yes, on my desk in the bedroom."

They ate the dish with sourdough and cheese. Glinda made Elphaba stop writing so she could focus on the food. "I can do both at once," Elphaba said. Glinda gave her a narrow-eyed look.

"I put a lot of love into this, you know." She gestured at the dish with a nod. "Appreciate it properly."

Elphaba managed to put down her pen in the most exasperated way possible and ate her food.

Glinda was going to ask Elphaba if there was anything she might want to do, but it was a silly question. Since when did they do anything but be together after Elphaba had come back from a long job? Therefore this job, being all the longer, demanded more time alone. Once they had eaten and Elphaba had written her letter, Glinda drew her into bed, to lay and talk and touch at their leisure. They were immediately having sex, of course. Then it dissolved into Elphaba recounting her year, her head in Glinda's naked lap. Glinda listened, rapt by the horror and the magic Elphaba had found in the forests to the south. She had travelled, by foot, some great distance, passing through locations she could not tell Glinda, assisting local communities of Animals and Quadlings when she could.

Amongst all of it was the danger. These parts Glinda did not enjoy hearing. She was simultaneously dreading and desperate for these details, for how Elphaba was almost killed by Gale Force, or wary Quadlings, or territorial Vinkan clans. "I can't believe the fear the Wizard has inspired in the Quadlings," Elphaba said quietly. "It was like a paradise when we were young - not the kind you know, its own paradise, unlike anywhere, and the people were always open. Now they know." Elphaba had become fierce. "They _know_ he's evil. They see an unfamiliar face or, god forbid, that awful cross, and it terrifies them. And the difference in the land, you wouldn't believe it. They just destroy everything they touch."

Glinda ran her hands soothingly though Elphaba's hair. "I'm sorry it's been so changed."

"Desecrated more like."

"I would like to see it someday, to better understand what's happening."

Elphaba peered up at Glinda. "Truly?"

"Yes. With you, of course."

Elphaba smiled at that. "You'd hate it. You'd get mud all over your nice shoes and dresses."

"Then I will not wear my nice shoes and dresses," Glinda said primly. Elphaba cackled.

"Good! Wear a sturdy pair of boots like me, and _trousers_! Oh, please wear trousers, they do _wonders_ my dear." Elphaba sat up on her hands, beaming at Glinda. "Or perhaps you meant nothing at all?" She buried her head in Glinda's neck, going for Glinda's sides. Glinda burst into laughter, squirming away from Elphaba's hands desperately. Elphaba relented with the tickling to pull Glinda into her lap instead.

Glinda rested her hands on Elphaba's chest, gazing down at her with a little smile. She was suddenly overcome with emotion. "It's so good to see you," she said quietly.

Elphaba's face faltered slightly, and her calloused hands covered Glinda's, rubbed the back of her arms and knuckles. "And you, my sweet." Her eyes had fallen. She hesitated to say something.

"What is it?" Glinda asked softly.

"I don't want to be away that long again," Elphaba said stiffly. She glanced up at Glinda. "Because I missed you, of course, and because it… was beginning to affect me psychologically."

Glinda was studying Elphaba very closely. "What do you mean? Did something happen?"

Elphaba avoided her eye, mouth drawn into a tense little line. "I don't want to worry you. Nothing _happened_."

"Elphie."

"I, um…" Elphaba hands took hers, her brow furrowing. "I really didn't care if I died, toward the end." Glinda struggled to remain still, seeing she had more to say. "I wanted to sometimes," she said quietly.

Glinda exhaled shakily. "Oh, Elphie…"

"I know, it's not-"

"We'll find some way to talk, yes?" Glinda held her face, tried to stop the tremble in her hands. "Some way to contact each other."

"I think that would be wise," Elphaba murmured. She looked up at Glinda, unusually open. "I didn't mean to worry you. I'm fine now."

Glinda pressed their foreheads together. "You promise, Elphie?"

"I do." Her hands moved over Glinda, her mouth drifting along her jaw. "I missed you," Elphaba said quietly. She always spoke more honestly when Glinda could not look at her. "I forget the world is good without you."

Glinda closed her eyes, her breath catching at Elphaba's beautiful voice, her lips dragging over the sensitive shell of Glinda's ear. Her head tipped back to make it easier for Elphaba to cover her with kisses. Once her teeth were against Glinda's throat it was off to the races; Elphaba turned them over, pressing her into the mattress, pressing every thought from her head but an endless loop of Elphaba.

* * *

"So, how will I contact you?"

"Letters. You remember that system I told you about. You just need to use that." She had asked Elphaba about the complex messaging system their movement used, and Elphaba had attempted to explain, but Glinda had quickly gotten bored of it. She just knew it involved Birds and was therefore exceptionally fast, with letters arriving sometimes within the fortnight.

"You'll have to tell me where you are to do that."

Elphaba looked off thoughtfully. "Not necessarily. There may be some other way to do it, something-"

"Elphie. Who am I going to tell?" Glinda asked, a bit hurt. Elphaba looked at her quickly.

"I am not afraid you will tell," She said, though Glinda figured she was half lying. "I'm worried someone will hurt you to get it."

"They'll hurt me to get it either way, my love." Elphaba's face fell and became pale. Glinda felt sorry for scaring her. "Perhaps you should stay longer so we can get it all sorted out."

Elphaba looked unsure, then became resolute. "No. I'll just make sure the next few missions are shorter."

Glinda sat up in bed, looking down at her with a frown. "Elphie, it would be better to just get it all out of the way-"

"I can't let them outpace us," Elphaba said earnestly.

"You aren't the _only_ one working out there, Elphie. Are you?" Elphaba made a face. "God, are you really alone in this?"

"Not completely," Elphaba said. "It's a mass of people. Some less organised than others. Most of them do not have the time or freedom I do, however."

"You _don't_ have the time and freedom," Glinda said, sounding utterly hopeless. Elphaba turned her head. Glinda hugged her hard. "Please take care of yourself."

"I'm not leaving yet." To Glinda it felt like she was already gone.

Elphaba wrote to all of the friends she could over Oz, asking if they would pass letters to her sent by 'Miss Chuffrey' when she was there to work. She told Glinda to take her letters to a particular post office in the downtown quarter, to drop the name Fae, and give her letters to a bespectacled Monkey. Glinda wrote these bizarre details in a little notebook.

They left the apartment on the fifth day to buy groceries in the very early morning. Glinda put a glamour spell on Elphaba to make her feel more comfortable, though she still wrapped her scarf high up around her face. They passed a fruit stand. Glinda's eye caught one particular platter. She took up one of the fruit, holding it before Elphie. "Have you had figs before?" she asked girlishly.

Elphaba looked at the fig, then at her, her eyes widening with recognition. "The figs."

"You remember?"

"Of course." She took it from Glinda delicately, held it as if inspecting its elements. "We must get some."

"Really?" Elphaba glanced at her as if self conscious. "I'm not opposed. I love figs."

They returned with milk and tea and bread and cheese and more, and figs. Elphaba sat on the kitchen counter as Glinda unpacked everything, her legs swinging very jollily, the sun on her back. She was so charming when she was unaware of herself. Glinda took a break to hold Elphie's face between her hands and draw her down for a kiss, then went right on unpacking. Elphaba whistled something. "Can I have a fig?" she asked a moment later.

"Of course. Keep some for me."

"I heard figs have dead wasps in them," Elphaba said thoughtfully around her full mouth. "That's how they're pollinated. Dead wasps."

"Excellent," Glinda said warily.

"Well, they're digested by an enzyme within the fruit. It's actually more complicated than that, it depends if its a male or female fig… doesn't that seem foolish? To have male and female categories for a fruit? Though I suppose that makes a lot more sense than applying it to humans as we do. At least there is some consistency with male and female flora. Or so I assume."

"Do you think there's some pretty green figs that are in between?" Glinda asked, bumping her hip against Elphaba's leg. Elphaba hummed.

"It is likely. Mutations happen all the time in nature."

"I see," Glinda said distractedly, pushing a little sack of flour up into her cupboards. Everything packed away, she went over to Elphaba, her hands resting on her thighs. Elphaba brought the box of figs around and held it between them.

"Want one?"

"After this wasp talk?"

"They still taste good. The wasp is gone." Glinda popped a fig in her mouth. She chewed them slow, to savour it.

"I just had a thought," she said.

"Mm?"

"Next place I get, I'll make sure there's a garden. And we'll plant a fig tree."

Elphaba looked amused. "That'll take years to grow, my dear. At least thirty."

"They start fruiting after just a few years."

Elphaba blinked. "How do you know that?" She paused. "Have you thought about this before?"

"Maybe."

Elphaba smiled genuinely at that. "Alright."

Glinda rocked on her feet, grinning. "Just had another thought."

"You're on a roll."

"Fig kisses." She got a fig from the box. She held it between them, bit it, and took Elphaba's face in hand, pulling their mouths together. That clean sweetness broke over their tongues.

Elphaba pulled back with a little frown. "I feel like you just fed me."

"Oh, don't ruin it." Glinda turned to lean back against Elphaba's front, taking another fig from the box. She began to peel it with her nails for the fun of it. "I thought it might be a good combination. Food and sex. Especially nice food."

"The wine was nice."

"Chocolate," Glinda wondered out loud.

"I'm not so keen on chocolate."

"I know. Ridiculous." Glinda gave up peeling the fig and bit half of it. She gave the other half to Elphie.

"Unless it's dark," Elphaba mumbled around a now full mouth.

"Dark chocolate doesn't melt as well usually."

"Jam?"

"Too sticky."

Elphaba's hands ran down her shoulders, caressing her arms. "Saffron cream."

Glinda peered back at her. "That's not a bad idea. If it doesn't smell."

"It won't smell if we're thorough," Elphaba mumbled against her neck; she licked her cheekily. Glinda giggled, twisting from her arms.

"Alright," she said coyly. "Saffron cream. I'll pop down and get some."

Elphaba arched a brow. "I wasn't serious. It's too expensive-"

"Nonsense. You're home after a year, and we can't a have a bit of fun with some saffron cream? I won't be a moment."

"I'll come."

"My love, you hate going out there. I don't want you anxious. Let me." Glinda patted her face patronisingly and put on her sunhat. "I won't be a tick."

She got the saffron cream from a local bakery, something of a splurge but certainly worth it. When she returned, Elphaba was already undressed and waiting at the kitchen counter. Glinda kicked the door closed, looked at her from head to toe. Elphaba uncrossed her legs and dropped onto her feet. "I figured we'd best keep the mess to the hardwood and tiles."

Glinda crossed the room, throwing the cream aside carelessly; she pressed Elphaba back against the counter and met her in a firm kiss. Elphaba exhaled when she pulled away, her cheeks dark green. "Good thinking."

They found out that cream melted and became quite unpleasant when left on warm skin. It was a decent addition while it kept its form; it was an excuse to lick as much of Elphaba as she liked, and the finger sucking was somehow all the more erotic with some cream thrown in. Elphaba attempting to chase cream as it rolled down Glinda's breasts was also _hilarious_ to watch. It was so messy and nice, they'd forgotten to get to any actual sex.

"Do you think it would be alright to get cream in a quim?"

"No idea," Glinda said thoughtfully as she reclined in the bath, Elphaba rubbing herself with oil beside her. They had ended up spectacularly sticky from the sugar in the cream.

"Probably not. I read a book, written by midwives from Nest Hardings, that suggested they have some natural cleaning cycle. Cream would probably interfere. And imagine when it went bad. No, that can't be good."

Glinda glanced at Elphaba, watched as she scrubbed efficiently at her armpits. She smiled fondly. She liked that. She liked Elphaba being so real and human and physically present. She cleared her throat. "You'll be leaving in two nights, won't you." She saw Elphaba go still in her periphery.

"Yes," Elphaba said quietly, as if just remembering herself.

"We'd better make these last days count, my love." She looked at Elphaba. Elphaba stared back pensively.

"Okay." She continued to clean herself briefly, and then stood. Glinda became somewhat breathless, looking at Elphaba oiled up in a dark candle-lit room. Elphaba glanced down at her. "Dry yourself thoroughly. The last thing we want are interruptions."

Glinda nodded and bit her lip as she watched Elphaba pace out of the room. She scrambled out of the bath.

They were sufficiently passionate for their last two days, Glinda supposed. They got more desperate as time marched on. By the second night Glinda was half on the edge of tears watching Elphaba sleep, worrying and missing her already. She covered her in soft kisses, tracing the lines of her face and her neck. Elphaba woke slowly beneath the attention, her hand bumping Glinda's thigh.

"Glinda."

She almost sobbed into her chest. "Please don't leave. Please." Elphaba's hand rested over the curve of her jaw, guided her up so Elphaba could kiss her. "Please," she mumbled against her mouth. Elphaba covered her lips with her own, swallowed her words. She twisted them together, kissed her deeply, a leisurely and smouldering kind of passionate.

"Elphie," Glinda breathed.

"Mm?"

"Mark me?" Elphaba's hand curled up and around to hold the back of her neck, making her shiver. "So I can see it later."

Elphaba sighed against her feelingly, and sucked hard at her throat, bit her less carefully than usual. Elphaba was rarely rough and so Glinda enjoyed it immensely when she was, spurring her on with her hands and half-coherent mutters. Elphaba's teeth dug into her shoulder and it brought fresh tears to her eyes, but it was fitting. The pain made sense. They held and did everything as hard as they dared.

By the end of that day, both aching and deeply enraptured, Elphaba decided to stay.

* * *

"You know I had to go eventually."

Glinda did know. She was still sad. They had dragged that week out to a month, and the initial desperation had passed now, so she was not so devastated. Not outwardly, at least. They walked together to the Cloister of St. Glinda in Seddon where she would see Elphaba off.

"How long is this job?"

"Three weeks, if we're lucky."

"Be lucky."

"I'll try my very hardest, my dear." They exchanged sad, affectionate smiles.

Elphaba slipped into the prayer room. She sat on her legs in front of the altar and bowed her head, her hands clasped somewhere beneath her robe. Glinda stood beyond her, watching numbly.

After some stretch of time Glinda had to speak. "You don't have any real faith in this, do you?" Elphaba peered back at her, and then up at the saint's portrait.

"Of course not. There's no proof of it. No truth that I have seen. Saints, sages, God."

"And yet here we are, mere hours before you leave again," Glinda said quietly.

Elphaba was still for a long moment, then patted the ground beside her. Glinda frowned, shifted unsurely. Elphaba patted the ground again. Glinda sat beside her with her legs folded beneath her, like Elphaba.

"This saint has no religious meaning to me. Religion has no meaning to me. To that capacity, I have no faith." She gazed thoughtfully at the candles of the altar, at the saint's image. "But I don't need faith for this to… be healing. Because the saint has her name. Has _your_ name. Do you understand?"

"No," Glinda said childishly. Elphaba looked at her. "Why do you have to leave?" Glinda pressed her hand to her mouth, her face crumpling. Elphaba's exhaled, her arms coming around Glinda.

"I'm not leaving," Elphaba murmured, muffled in Glinda's shoulder. "Even when I tried to leave I could not leave you."

Glinda experienced a fresh wave of tears thinking of when Elphaba really had left. Had that time been so different from these? Did it hurt less now?

A stupid question. Of course it hurt less. Because she knew Elphaba wanted to come back to her. Because she got on her knees and begged a saint to bring her home. But her world was bigger than Glinda, and Glinda's was bigger than her, in truth. She was practicing magic, learning from women almost as powerful as Morrible and not half as scary. She was learning to be independent. But for Glinda, love would always be her priority.

Was it the same for Elphaba?

Glinda draped her black cloak, still smelling of the woods, over her rigid shoulders. She clasped it with a brooch of Glinda's.

"Take care of yourself, my sweet."

"Of course." Glinda forced a smile.

Elphaba looked out to the street. She looked back at Glinda, unexpectedly vulnerable. "Keep me in your thoughts…" Her brow furrowed. Glinda stepped into her space, took her hands. She pressed her lips to Elphaba's knuckles.

"Always, my love."

* * *

Glinda found a store just inside the cathedral on Brightson that sold religious trinkets and decor. It was the only store of its kind. Glinda was a bit surprised it had survived in such a faithless city, though it _was_ inside a huge church. She stepped into the store and found it surprisingly modern, the front windows large, letting light pour over a spacious and restrained shopfloor. The back wall of the store was covered from top to bottom in circular plaques painted with the portraits of various saints. Glinda meandered toward them, was smiled at by the young maunt behind the counter. "Can I help you?"

Glinda smiled back. "Yes. I'm looking for a picture, like those, of St. Aelphaba." The maunt peered up at the wall. She hummed.

"I'll check in the storeroom, won't be a tick." She went off. Glinda perused the table in the centre of the store. There were glass display boxes full of rings and earrings, artful branches draped with necklaces and bracelets. Most of them had the signature Unionist rose, some had the bejewelled hand of the Unnamed God, or tiny painted portraits of prophets and saints. They were quite pretty, if only they didn't represent what they did. The maunt came back out.

"Saint Aelphaba," the maunt said triumphantly, portrait in hand. "That will be all?"

"Yes, thank you." Glinda paid the lady. She packed it in butcher's paper and handed it to Glinda.

"Haven't been asked about saint Aelphaba ever in my life. How'd you come to hold her special?"

Glinda looked at the maunt. She was five or so years Glinda's junior. "I have a lover that looks like her." The maunt blinked, too confused to be shocked, and Glinda left the store smiling.

She came home and unwrapped the portrait in her livingroom. She had pushed her little chair-side table against the wall, and placed the portrait on it, surrounding it with candles and a fresh vase of roses. She lit the candles. She sat before her homemade altar, staring at Saint Aelphaba's portrait. The saint had her head bowed, hand pressed strangely to her forehead. Not very Elphaba at all. Not that it really mattered. She locked her hands together and closed her eyes.

"St. Aelphaba… please protect my companion. She has your namesake. She has family that serve your God and want her safe. And she has me, and has driven me to prayer. So… she's earned it, I think."

Glinda felt silly. She decided the religious side of this was useless to her - she had no faith in it. She did have some belief in the Beyond. Things that alluded her understanding. She was keenly aware of where these things stopped and began, being a practitioner of magic.

Her hands tightened, and she spoke from that place instead. "Please, please, keep her safe. Keep her together. Give her some success. Bring her back to me," she plead quietly, and felt herself on the edge of tears. "Please don't take her from me."

Glinda peered up at the portrait. She didn't see Elphaba's face there. But it didn't matter, as Elphaba had said. It was Glinda's reverence given physical form. It was something of her in their apartment, to sit amongst everything else. The smell of Elphaba in every room. The used fountain pen, the oil-damp rag, the aches and marks in Glinda's very flesh. She would not be gone a year this time.

Glinda smiled at the portrait, kissed her own clasped hands, and got up to write a letter.


End file.
